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Nappies - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Nappies

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
What do YOU really want to happen now? Are they just going to send him home again to fail again? They tried to do this to my mum, and I put up the fight of my life to stop it. YOU know YOUR dad better than anyone else, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
I know this is upsetting to do, but it might be worth you googling "Signs of Dying". There are some really good explanations written by people who have worked in hospices, about how the body adapts itself to what it can cope with, especially in terms of food and drink.
I read these when my mum was obviously only going to live a few weeks longer, and it really, really helped me understand what was going on.
It is also time to think about "final arrangements" so that you are prepared for whatever happens from now on. Again, not immediately, but maybe in the next year or two.
Then you can concentrate on doing your very best for dad, and making the most of every day that's left. Which is what we should all do, regardless of age!
This is one of my concerns. My father only has two positions - sitting in his chair or asleep in bed.
Does he have a pressure relieving mattress and cushion for his chair? An OT would be the person to access, recommend and provide what he needs.

It does sound like 24/7 care in a good nursing home would better suit his needs. Regularly turning whilst in be would be part of his health care plan.

Melly1
If he is going to come home, I would insist on an OT visit to assess the equipment he needs to make sure he is comfortable. MIL has a pressure cushion for her chair and a fully adjustable hospital bed, all provided as part of her hospital discharge. As I mentioned, the carers check her skin daily to ensure there are no issues and would flag with us and her district nurse if anything was noticed. They took a urine sample to the GP a few weeks ago as they thought she had a UTI and got antibiotics prescribed ... I would have been none the wiser as I don't manage her personal care so they are very vigilant to her needs. Everything is recorded in their daily log, so if you have any queries, make sure you read it to check what they are doing for him.

I agree that if he went into residential care there is no obligation for them to change or toilet him at night; some do, some don't, but so long as they use the correct pads and inspect him for any soreness then that is accepted under care guidelines. If he needs turning this must be recorded.
As others have said, even with four care visits a day there is still a lot of things that need doing for a person to live at home.

Do the carers apply any barrier cream after changing the pads? Mum who has pressure sores gets either Proshield or Sudocreme applied to her after her pad is changed.
Thanks for all the responses - it has helped clarify something for me.

I think I need to obtain a Mental Capacity assessment. And to talk to his caseworker in SS - regretfully, I cannot manage to both run his household for him and fight on his behalf with the NHS, SS etc. All I have left is the capacity to do one or the other, and I suspect the better one to do is the fighting. I'm beginning to realise I ought to go and check out nursing homes, though I'm now so done that rises in front of me like Mt Everest. :(

So it looks like SS on 2 Jan. Oh joy. Dammit - I knew I should have asked for a hole to crawl into for Christmas....
hamsterwheel wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:22 pm
Thanks for all the responses - it has helped clarify something for me.

I think I need to obtain a Mental Capacity assessment. And to talk to his caseworker in SS - regretfully, I cannot manage to both run his household for him and fight on his behalf with the NHS, SS etc. All I have left is the capacity to do one or the other, and I suspect the better one to do is the fighting. I'm beginning to realise I ought to go and check out nursing homes, though I'm now so done that rises in front of me like Mt Everest. :(

So it looks like SS on 2 Jan. Oh joy. Dammit - I knew I should have asked for a hole to crawl into for Christmas....
That is so true of so many carers. Even when the caring can be managed , it's the fighting that wears us down. But reserves come from deeper inside than you realise., and you didn't get a hole, you got us to support and inform you. You are not alone.
And don't be surprised if you get no response on the 2nd . Some government departments say it is a bank holiday, some dont so lots of staff will still be off.
Social Services move at snail's pace, or slower. So definitely contact them asap, but don't expect an immediate reply. However, it will be the hospital bullying them which will make them act, as there are financial sanctions for "bed blockers" a term I loathe, hate and detest by the way.
So you CAN allow time to relax a little. I'd strongly recommend going away somewhere for a few nights, not a holiday, just away from the distractions of home. Even somewhere just an hour's drive would be OK. Look at Late Rooms, there will be lots of discounted places in January. Ideally somewhere you can eat and sleep and do nothing, other than listen to what your body and mind are telling you. Is it time to throw in the towel and opt for residential care? Do you think he'll come home only to fail again?
Thanks for that. Yes, I think what I need to drive everyone towards is residential care. The stress of Declember made it clear to me - finally - that the main emotional strain came from his expectation that I would run his household for him. Running errands may not sound much, but, for a child that got away from home as frequently as possible as a teenager, and who left asap and found every single visit home a trial, running errands is the thing that's a nightmare. It wipes out a whole life of escape from the needy demands of parents. So the one thing I can't do - despite the nagging little voice in my head that I could, if only I did so-and-so - is household organisation. So, unless they can put in someone to do that, it's residential care.