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Nan's in hospital, gramps at home - Carers UK Forum

Nan's in hospital, gramps at home

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Hi all. My nan, who my family and I care for, went into hospital again today, only for a small proceedure this time and should be out in a few days. My grandad who doesn't really need to much care himself (although he is 87 and not in the best health) insists on accompanying us on all hospital visits which really takes it out of him. I know he would be best to stay at home and use the time alone to recharge his batteries a little as when nan is at home he really does not sleep well with her up so much throughout the night. However he's having none of it. Has anyone experienced similar problems? how have you managed it? I know it's not the biggest problem but is does stretch us as a family as two people are needed to move gramps about meaning we need to arrange for more people to attend each visit.



P.S. also thanks for everyones feedback on my website to help carers www.curahq.com, thanks to all your feedback it is now fully up and running and today the 50th care community was registered on the site.
We had a similar problem some years ago. FIL had absolutely no idea how much strain he was putting on our family finances by demanding to see MIL at a nursing home in the afternoon, during my husband's working day. FIL never saw self employment as "proper" work! Either you agree to take Gramps, or you don't. He's so lucky having you, he ought not to be demanding, but he's probably living in a comfortable "bubble" with not a lot else to worry about. So much depends on how he and Nan are mentally, but all I can think of is a firm approach. It took me years and years, and some counselling, to start saying "No" to my carees. I understand that Gramps is anxious, so could you take him to see Nan once after she's come round from her procedure, then every second or third day? A member of the family could possibly "pop in to the hospital after work/shopping"? so he doesn't have the opportunity of demanding to go with them. Could he ring up and have a chat with Nan? Calls to hospital can be expensive, but might work out easier than a personal visit.