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Carers UK Forum • Mythical 24/7 Carers? - Page 9
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Whether you're providing care hands-on

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:34 pm
by NanaNana
Whether you're providing care hands-on physically or mentally (clock watching or waiting for the phone to ring or the knock on the door or worrying about things), there's no getting away from the fact that as carers, we are working (physically or mentally) 24/7.
I had that week away in February, but if my phone had rung, I'd have had no choice but to have driven straight back. You can't tell them all to 'get stu**ed', I'm on 'me' time.........

Great to have you back Rin, Whaaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooo, she's back and what a babe!

My goodness! I mention afterlife

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:10 pm
by SandySea
My goodness! Image
I mention afterlife to a lady who is suffering grief, then return a few days later to read things like:
what you are saying is that religion can be used to justify
and
I'm rather anti-religion ... I associate religion with bullying
and
I am usually very reluctant to enter into arguments about religion.
and
Why can't these religious folk just have the decency to let us have a life

I find it fascinating that some people equate the concept of an afterlife with religion! Personally, I've been to church twice in 61 years - once as a bridesmaid, and once to attend my father's funeral!

But it's ok, this thread began with whether we have choices, so we haven't really gone off the topic - it's just one more example of how we all have the choice to interpret and react to what we read as we choose. Image

Actually Sandysea it wasnt your

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:30 pm
by philippa_150712
Actually Sandysea it wasnt your post to lazydaisy i was responding to it was this:
I believe we choose the circumstances of our lives because they suit our needs - they provide us with the opportunity to learn what we need to, or to repay our (gasps! dare I say the word?) karma.
Most of us don't know why things happen the way they do. The one we care for may have been someone we injured in a previous lifetime, or perhaps we just lived a self-indulgent lifetime and needed to learn selflessness this time around.
As i understand it 'karma' is an indian religous concept. ...you yourself say earlier in the post quoted above that your views on why we may end up as carers/disabled are somewhat controversial!!

If you are going to tell people that in your opinion they are suffering because they 'chose' to suffer you can hardly be surprised that some people will find your views objectionable!

Going back to the thread, having just re read it i just wanted to say 'good post litterachet' .

While this board is surely

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:00 pm
by SandySea
While this board is surely not meant to serve as a debating forum for such discussions, I do feel that I have a right of reply - but I also agree that it's time to call a halt to it.

Belle, am I TELLING anyone they must believe what I believe? As you rightly said, it was MY opinion. (And I don't express an opinion lightly, I back it with many years of research and personal application, but that's beside the point.)

You use examples of racist remarks (?) and point out that you are "reluctant to enter into arguments about religion". Well hello - I was expressing an opinion! Just because you don't agree with someone's opinion is hardly a reason to decide they're trying to argue with you! If that is so, then no wonder half the world is at war with the other half of the world! Maybe tolerance is one of the biggies we all need to learn.

And incidentally Belle, 'karma' may be an Indian word, but it is now an accepted philosophy by more than 50% of the western world today and no longer associated with any form of religion.

When people accept the consequences of their choices (conscious or unconscious), they begin to feel they have some control in their lives. It's not the experience that creates our reaction, but our choice to as to how to react to that experience. While that may seem, initially, a difficult concept to absorb, I work with people daily who gain great benefit from understanding that concept.

But please, let's just agree to disagree. I was responding to lazydaisy, and the last thing on my mind was trying to start an argument. Image

Well...i could be picky but

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:09 pm
by philippa_150712
Well...i could be picky Image but since i am a pacifist I'll agree to disagree Image

But please, let's just agree

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:13 pm
by Scally
But please, let's just agree to disagree. I was responding to lazydaisy, and the last thing on my mind was trying to start an argument. Image
Whats wrong with having an argument, exactly? As long as it doesnt get bad-temprered and veer into personal abuse, an argument is the normal form of human discourse, isnt it? I think where some folk might have a problem is because they cant seperate the argument itself from their own integrity or status. So, for example, I might enjoy stating a controversial opinion, only to be shot down, and I very often modify my view as a result. Well, I sure dont believe the same things that I did say 20 years ago, and as often as not, it was losing an argument that forced me to reconsider my position. So, as I see it, a well-developed argument is an educative process, and to be encouraged. Its also good mental exercise, and all we carers need a bit of that from time to time.

come on hand bags at

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:06 pm
by pixienubbins
come on hand bags at ten paces please ladies and gents



rob ive missed watching u argue matey i learn so much from u lol

rob ive missed watching u

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:19 pm
by philippa_150712
rob ive missed watching u argue matey i learn so much from u
l

It's freaking me out to find myself agreeing with him .. Image

I suspect Excalibur may be

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:25 am
by SandySea
I suspect Excalibur may be confusing arguing with informed debating.

Yes, Excalibur, sadly arguing does often appear to be the normal form of human discourse, but it doesn't need to be. Tolerance for other's opinions is really not so difficult when we're comfortable in our own skins.

I'm always happy to take part in an informed debate and will continue this discussion on a new thread if anyone wants to start one, but when discussion turns into argument I prefer to stand aside and leave it to others.

come on hand bags at

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:22 am
by charles47
come on hand bags at ten paces please ladies and gents



rob ive missed watching u argue matey i learn so much from u lol
Image Image Image

And you wonder why we miss you, Rin!