Mythical 24/7 Carers?

[MaryB]

"The one we care for may have been someone we injured in a previous lifetime, or perhaps we just lived a self-indulgent lifetime and needed to learn selflessness "

I can't buy into that idea at all, what is the disabled person supposed to have done in a previous life then?
I think Glen Hoddle said something like this once and was sacked because of it.
Vicky

[Lazydaisy]

Thank you for posting,both of you.
I am feeling very emotional at the moment, otherwise I may not have written that. It will be one year on 25th this month. We then have to get through our other son's birthday at the beginning of August, (the day before we had the funeral last year).Ben has to cope with a lot in life as it is,(Sandysea, my other son has Downs Syndrome and type 1 diabetes), and we have decided that we have to give him a good birthday, we cannot be sad forever more on that date. We have just found a new multiscreen cinema opened 30 miles away, so will have no family memories, we are going to take him there, and then out for a meal. (and it will be a total surprise for him).
I have found over the last few weeks, since my new grandson has been born, that people are saying," he will fill the hole in your heart."It hurts when people say that,as he will never fill that hole. He brings joy and love, but he has his OWN place in my heart. I try to remember that people cannot understand unless they have been through it, and I hope that they never have to. It is a heartbreak that no bereaved parent would not wish on their worst enemy.

[MaryB]

I just cannot imagine but my thoughts are with you lazydaisy
Vicky

[Guest]

Hi Jane

You Know Pat & Myself and our circumstances believe me no grandchild will replace any child that a parent as lost.

I know we have 10 grandchildren and love them all but none of them can replace what we have lost so i know how you feel when you are told what you have been told.

Your new grandson will make you very happy and that's what you need after a year that you and your family have had.

Love Pat & John x

[philippa_150712]

Sorry Sandysea, I realise that we all have our own personal philosphies of life but like Vicky i do find the idea that people who suffer in this life are here to 'learn' some lesson or repay wrong done in a past life pretty offensive.

I havent a clue what life is all about but i do know that bad things happen to good people.

Personally i think we are all the result of one big cosmic accident..and that the bad things that happen in life don't happen for any reason..it's just bad luck...i'm not even sure we learn from them..they just bring out aspects of our character that are already there

If i thought there was a reason for suffering i don't think i would ever stop being angry.



Lazydaisy my heart goes out to you. x

[Myrtle]

No one else ever fills the hole that is left, whatever people say. Each have their own special place.
My heart goes out to both Lazydaisy and to Krys.

[no1mum]

Nothing or nobody can take that special place in your heart. x x

[pixienubbins]

even having cerys i was worrying about who was going to do things for amy, and this- u have had a section rest solid for 2 weeks-- HOW??? havent and healing fine and feel ok
Amy hasnt had as much physio but still having it, and her commode has stayed clean and smelling fresh
But how do u turn off? last sunday was the proof to me that i am a carer- no matter wot is happening to me (even having a baby sergically removed) when amy came to visit i asked her if she had left any logs - she had but matts 16 yr old had bravely gone where only a pixie had been before!

Even now im typing away watching the clock to time lifting amy before cerys has a feed, and luckily feeds coinside with getting amy up.

when do we turn off? Never
when do we not worry? never

we r carers and maybe we were just born to do this, maybe its because we r made of strong stuff to cope, and maybe those we care for r very very lucky and the governent- well they r just laughing at us

[MaryB]

Congratulations, Cerys is a lovely name btw.
Nice to see you back.
Vicky

[Scally]

I think that the whole idea of an afterlife is a bit dodgy, to be honest. Yes, I can understand why people cling on to the idea, especially if their life has been a bit on the sad side. If I had an afterlife, I think it would be a bit dull, like playing Wii or watching daytime TV all day, every day, to a background track of the Best Of Abba played on the Hammond Organ. Virtual cyberlife, not real, endlessly repeated. Why can't these religious folk just have the decency to let us have a life then - ba-ba-boom - finish?