My brothers going in a home and "above" £23,250

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108 posts
The financial assessment should have been done BEFORE he moved in. Have you signed anything to say you are financially responsible, or was the placement arranged by the social worker or health? I managed to get £8,000 refunded for my mum, because the first few weeks, 12 I think, should only take into consideration your brother's income, not any capital/savings.
Now you need to start a notebook diary, if you haven't already. Write down what you've told us about today, very worrying indeed. Make an appointment to see the manager and tell them they got off to a very bad start.
Hello bowlingbun,

Yes, i figured the financial assessment should have been done BEFORE he went in to the home. Ive not actually had any assessment yet to say I'm financially responsible, but the respite centre staff were at the home yesterday sorting taxi money out etc, which i had to pay for.

So its like there's a slow ambiguited move by all parties, getting my brother in the home asap, then sorting out the financial assessment. I think they want (social worker, etc) in the home asap then sort the financial details out. (I sill want. Him back home but I've spoke about tha already).....

Ive had a diary on my pc writing absolutely everything down. Dates, condition of my brother At this time etc, so i can draw back on these documents/diaries rather than from memory!

Edit: he's been in the respite Centre 41 days, which by my calculation will/would cost £787.50. Not sure I've got to pay that or not. Ill see, but they dont seem to let me know - until i get large bills.

As you have not signed anything, you have NOT entered into a contract and therefore do NOT have to pay! This would be a good time to get some good legal advice, or at least ring/email our CUK advice line. Also make sure all your brother's clothes etc. are labelled or they will go walkabout very quickly. Don't give him anything which needs any special washing care either.
Well, the £787 is from the respite centre, and he's been going there for about 7+ years now, and pay monthly (or when they send me the bill) so I'm expected to pay something there I'd say.

Was your brother treated better at the respite home? If so, would it be possible for him to live there permanently.

The current one doesn't seem very good. If the respite home is impossible, can you do some phoning around to find out if there is a better alternative?

If he himself is paying, that means the 'customer is king'! I hope that applies.

As you have already discovered, the key to a good home is the STAFF and their attitude and behaviour, irrespective of how 'plus' the place might be.

Are there any homes that specialise in epilepsy, if that is a likely risk for your brother?? (We have an epilepsy home quite near here, and some of the residents are very wheelchair bound etc - sometimes we see them being taken out for 'wheeled walks' by the staff, so they are definitely getting out and about sometimes.)

I do hope things improve - that said, the 'induction' period of moving into a care home can be tricky, and things may possibly settle down. Maybe the staff didn't come and help you as they felt you were dealing with it? Or were watching how you dealt with it so they could take the same attitude?

What state are the other residents in? Do you feel they are 'better or worse' than your brother in terms of the level of care they need? If your bro is the 'worst affected' in terms of level of care needed, that home may well not be the most appropriate!
Hi Jenny

He was treated well at the respite centre as he got used to the staff (7 years). They "DO" have people living there permanently, but there is no nurses/nursing care etc, and they have a protocol that 2 seizures in 12 hours means paramedics etc. Short staff too.

I will phone around and look after he's been in a while but don't want to leave it too long.

He's paying, but after the assessment on Thursday i dont know how much/what benefits etc will be required. (he's on PIP enhanced and ESA)

Your right about the staff. It's THE main reason, (i believe) that a care home excels - or not

This home specialises in epilepsy, but weren't attentive when he had his seizure. HOWEVER, it was teatime and they were busy handing meals out in all respect, though he's not been too good today when rang up and was subdued. Not sure how he was fed though but my sister said he ate his food, but yesterday we found it difficult to feed him.

Don't think they were watching when my brother had a seizure, as my sister dealt with him At this time , and i was sort of "watching them watching us" - but weren't (like i said, it was at a busy feeding time so...)

The other residents are very old (101/100/97 etc) and some "younger" ones, were playing dominoes, others listening to old music (white cliffs of Dover if you will) ;) but my brother was with us. However, as the Days (months?) go by, i will be VERY interested to see how he integrates with the other people (34 people the place holds) as most are :

1). Alzheimer's/dementia
2). Less old (70-80) but able minded (think domino players).

They were well treated and tended to while we were there on his first day. It's this "integration" with other PATIENTS I'm a little concerned about. Whilst were all unique, There doesn't seem to be anyone similar to my brother there, and i dont want to see him sitting alone at a table or chair all day.

Respite centre did a good job, but could be ironic that a nursing home, which he "needs" may not be up to it, for my brother that is.....


I'm just wondering whether, if this home doesn't prove to be good long term for your brother, and if there isn't another one that is better, and if the respite home isn't really suitable for him for permanent residence (eg, because of the lack of nursing care etc), whether the following might be possible.

What about if he kind of lived 'half at home' (as he once was) and 'half in respite'. ie, just taking him 'back home' BUT using respite FAR more, maybe a week a month, two weeks, something like that.

If the respite home has been good for him, and he could stay there 'longer and more often, and if you could cope 'partially' with him, would that be a possible 'compromise' all round?

I know the SS etc are saying 'you've had enough!' but with caring, so, so, so, often the real 'killer' is the non-stoppedness of it (ie, even with a couple of respite breaks a year or whatever).....whereas if we could 'half and half' it, we would have 'half' our lives spend caring, and then 'half' spent not-caring (handing over to respite/etc), and have our 'own' lives in that time, and recover our strength etc etc.

It might sound a bit of a 'bodge', your bro being 'half at home' and 'half in respite' but in many practical ways it could be a potential solution? in the end, it boils down t 'if it works, go for it!' however unusual....

(No idea if the money side would work out!)
Thanks for your reply Jenny.

With the respite centre only just this week "handing him over" to the nursing home, it would be difficult to start proceedings right At this time. It would though, however, be a Good solution for my brother to be at the respite centre with an half-half scenario (he currently had 56 days per year via his budget, 4.5 day per month give or take).

I was happy with this, as when it came to the end of the month, and i was ready for the break, it was really nice to have those 4 days off, and you seem (i do anyway) to appreciate time off more the less Time you have. You seem to "value" the time you have off More (other peoples millage may vary, though).

It wouldn't be easy, no not for ME, but for the SS (social services )? As they would see me as putting them about as they like everything sorted out; and in order. It's almost robotic the way the stystem works nowadays. I would gather that sooner or later (if he settles in), then that will be the end of the matter, and he probably wont be "allowed" (yes i know "allowed") home, except on occasional visits. The nursing home said he can come back for a day if he's ok, and all his medication/creams/continence pads etc are brought back. Ill see what happens, but in the meantime, his profiling bed, and electric chair (forget the name) are still at my house, so I'm wondering if the OT (occupational therapist) may have it collected back ? (He could sleep here for a night then you see.)

Tony, do either you, or your brother, have an advocate? It certainly seems to be helping my son and I get heard.
No i dont bowlingbun, but there is a Physiotherapist who is very helpful, and talks "my way" as it were, or at least she seems genuinely more interested in MY situation, were as the other team members (SS/SW, nurses etc) are generally going with the flow of getting my brother in the home, and keeping him there etc. Like Ive said, most, if not all of my family seem its the best decision. But they are married and dont now live alone (thats another thing though). !

108 posts