My brothers going in a home and "above" £23,250

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108 posts
Thank bowlingbun.

Well have a look at that. Been very busy though just lately ;)
Under the Care Act, your brother has the right to have an advocate. Normally that would be you, but clearly you are being ignored, so ask Social Services to appoint one for your brother AND YOU as soon as possible. I've just done this too.
Also, the Human Rights Act says there is a right to a Normal Family Life.
Then there is the issue of Deprivation of Liberty.
Have they done a NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist Assessment? CHC funding can be used to give support at home. Google this for more information.
Start mentioning these phrases asap, then the hospital will realise you mean business, which may in itself make them change their attitude to you.
Hello bowlingbun

It's all a bit sketchy at the moment, as last night, my other brother and my sister came back from a nursing home and told me how nice it was. It's a bit difficult at the moment as all the rest of my family (including my second sister/in laws etc etc, think i should go along with this "home" idea, and move on, as it were. (they mean it with good intentions I'm pretty sure of that) and move on I may have to, as I'm kind of on my own here.

Some in laws though dont want to get involved and are quite inpatient with my sisters and think things should be sorted asap for THERE own benefit. So its not just a LA/social worker thing etc, but a bit of a family one. Ill keep on posted bowlingbun.

Tony.
Family relationships are difficult. Any decision must be made in the best interests of you, as carer, and your brother. As the others are NOT the carers, they don't have any rights to make this sort of decision.
Hello bowlingbun

The fact is, it happened so quick (about 3 weeks ago in to respite centre were he's is at the moment ) that I've not had time to get my head around it all. However, the social workers etc are always "on it" as it were, as they do this all the time. So, the local authorities, social workers etc are always one step ahead. They are a good team who come to see my brother, dont get me wrong, but no matter how "right" they are, how good my brothers care will be, how reassuring they come across - at the end of the day, i feel my brother has been taken from me - against my own will.

It's an ongoing process.

Tony.
Tony, I can't say one way or the other whether your brother living with you is the 'best' for him....or for you. BUT, if his health is up to it, what is to stop him coming back to you for, say, weekends, or certainly 'holiday breaks' back 'home' (ie, with you)??

I did this regularly with my MIL when she first had to go into residential care. She came back for 'sleepovers' two days a week.

For me it meant that I had the other time to have my 'own' life, but a couple of nights with her to give her a 'taste of home' in a way I could cope with.

So I wonder whether that sort of thing would be a good compromise for you, if it can be managed in practical terms (eg, your brother's transport, that sort of thing.)

Just a thought!
jenny lucas wrote:Tony, I can't say one way or the other whether your brother living with you is the 'best' for him....or for you. BUT, if his health is up to it, what is to stop him coming back to you for, say, weekends, or certainly 'holiday breaks' back 'home' (ie, with you)??

I did this regularly with my MIL when she first had to go into residential care. She came back for 'sleepovers' two days a week.

For me it meant that I had the other time to have my 'own' life, but a couple of nights with her to give her a 'taste of home' in a way I could cope with.

So I wonder whether that sort of thing would be a good compromise for you, if it can be managed in practical terms (eg, your brother's transport, that sort of thing.)

Just a thought!

Hello Jenny.

The nursing home my sister and brother visited last night were very Good actually in this department. They said my brother can have a budgie in his room, visits virtually anytime, and take some of his old stuff there, like records, cds dvds etc.

Also they said he could come home (needs to be discussed more though) if he's ok, and we have his medication etc, so when he's due to come home for a day. Not sure about sleepover, as we have a medequip profiling bed that MAY have to go back and reclining chair etc, but will talk to my OP (occupational therapist) about this, and see if i can leave the bed here whilst my brothers stil "alive (basically). There are los of options.

Of course, i need to be sensible, and as a brother, i cant profess to be akin to a qualified nurse/Carer, so i know my limitations. However, as my bother is At writing , I'm ok to care for him. I did this for my mum for 5 years, until she went in to a home (Alzheimer's) but that's another long story. (My mum survived about 5 years in a home, but was not good, and we regularly had to feed/give her fluid as staff was short). It was more a "hospital-home" than a nursing home. This one which was visited last night is very different.



Thanks

Tony.
Hello again all you wonderful carers :arrow:

I'm not sure whether to follow on with this thread, or start a new new one, but my brother went in to his new nursing home yesterday (Monday 17t July), and i am far from happy.

He was in the respite centre 6 weeks prior to going to this nursing home. One of the problems here was that there was little, (if any) information given to the nursing home from the respite centre regarding medication, new wheelchair, my brothers needs and requirements etc, and we, our family, spent most of the afternoon filling forms in, and questions were asks on VERY BASIC things that they really should have known by now (not sure if its common for "pre-nursing" homes (respite centre in our case) to be this late passing important information to the nursing home itself.

Anyway, after much pen-pushing, we finally got my brother to The table to eat his tea (5pm) This is were the problem started. They gave my brother his food (who is unable to feed himself "properly" but will have a go if guided/helped). Well, there was no help. Me and my sister had to feed him solely after the dinner staff passed the food to the table.

Half way through his food (beans on toast which needed cutting up by us) my brother had a very large epileptic seizure, and at this point, he was very "out of it", animated, and unable to sit correctly. This is another problem - The wheelchair.

My brother has Had to Have a wheelchair specifically designed for him so he doesn't "slide forward". Well unfortunately, after his seizure, he not only slid forward but was almost on his back and needed lifting up (he's very heavy at 17 stone) Both me and my sister did this with a lot of effort. What worried me though is the staff didn't come to help us, and me and my sister was fiddling about with this new chair and belt which was on his chest rather than his waist.

I patiently waited for staff (who clearly saw what was happening) to come along and lift my brother up and secure him at the table. They didn't come, which surprised/disappointed me a lot, especially since he was only there 3 hours (2 pm yesterday). Anyway, to cut it short, we left after teatime, and my brother was semi conscious after his seizure. I'm just concerned how they will respond when WE ARENT THERE?. My brother also looked excluded (yes, there's time for things to improve, but I'm giving my first impressions here) as he was on his own at the table, but not with other older group of other residents.

There are quite a few people in there who are 100, 101, 97 etc, and with My brother, who's just turned 60, I'm Wondering if there may be a "age -barrier "? Clash....

I thought I'd share my early thoughts but this "he needs 24/7 nursing care" (as advised by my social worker) doesn't seem as though he will/will be getting it. Maybe i was expecting more i dont know, but i m very concerned for my brother, especially when we, his family, aren't there.

By way of comparison, when he was here in my house 6 weeks ago he sat at the table and there was no issue at all. And this was just a standard chair. I'm wondering if these "specialised: chairs are really that necessary? He looked very "belted in" and restricted/uncomfortable (and It was very hot too).

My financial assessment is this Thursday.

regards.

Tony
Who is paying his bills? And who decided to send him to that home?
Colin_1705 wrote:Who is paying his bills? And who decided to send him to that home?
my brother will be paying through his benefit i gather (though I'm yet to be assessed by the financial team). The social worker, learning disability community nurse, and collective other bodies decided he should go, as he needs 24/7 NURSING care. It doesn't seem that they were confident i could do it myself (but i was fine with it however, i really was) instead they tell me i "need a break now" youve "done your bit" etc etc. ;) seems they dont want him to live with me anymore, for "whatever" reason.

Tony.
108 posts