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My 90 year old mother stopped eating, drinking very little. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

My 90 year old mother stopped eating, drinking very little.

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Ok, thanks.

I was wondering about asking to move her chair into her bedroom too.
I shall suggest this when I go in today.

The only thing is, Mum has been refusing the hoist, she hates it, she shouts to the staff 'NO' and won't co operate/allow them to put the straps on. But maybe if she realises it's just to the chair in her room then she may (or may not) realise that it is not far to move to.

Yes, in fact if she likes the chair anywhere near as my mum did, she might just make that extra bit of effort. For the staff, if mum can just stand they might be able to swivel her round to the chair.
My mum was a very private person and spent the last year of her life entirely in her room, apart from going to the hospital, and on one occasion going to the garden in her wheelchair, which she told staff was "too windy". She had always been very self conscious and would rather no one saw her with a very badly bent back. Maybe your mum would really prefer not to go in the lounge? (I'm completely different from my mum, anything for human company).
Hi Christina
My mum started having free standing hoists and slings when she was still in her own bungalow. Very shortly the free standing hoist was changed to a ceiling hoist and she had two good slings. One was for toileting, which had to go under her arms. It hurt her so I converted a padded dressing gown into a short jacket which the carers put on her when she had to be hoisted to the commode and which spared her the underarm discomfort. The other was a transport sling which she used to get from one chair to another. Arms inside. She found it very comfortable. When my Mum went into the Home I took the two slings in because the ones they were using with stand alone hoists were thinner and hurt her. They used the toileting sling but refused to use the other because it was 'different'.
Written all that because your mum might find the slings very uncomfortable and some care workers aren't as gentle as they could be. My Mum had a stand aid until she could no longer weight bear at all. She used to swivel from chair to chair.
Just maybe the slings are the problem rather than the actual sensation of being hoisted.
Thanks for replying Elaine.

Yes, it could be that the slings themselves that are too uncomfortable.

I was quite upset today as both mum's meat and veg dinner and pudding were still on Mum's table at 3pm.
Mum was fast asleep only slightly sat up, knife, fork and spoon were under her bed covers which I found whilst straightening mum's top bed sheet.
I went to the staff and told them about this and one of the staff said that when she offered to help mum, mum said she would do it herself! She struggles to talk though, due to speech problems from her stroke and also is very forgetful. The care worker said 'we like to encourage independence! I said but no one has been into mum to check that she is managing and then to help her when she is not. But also, I said there is no way that Mum can manage any meat that is not soft in texture (she has about 5 teeth and none next to each other, no dentures.
I asked, please could I have Mum's food liquidised if the food is not already soft. She did say yes, we can try that.

Another thing they seem to do, is after they change mum's incontinence pad, is open the windows and don't seem to go back to shut the window even in the cold weather. I feel I have to visit twice a day, even if very tired just to check on Mum and see to any problems that might have occurred since I was last there.
Mum is becoming more frailer, sleeping alot more and I just hope that she doesn't have any pain as she seems more and more exhausted.
I am lucky though that the care home is only 10 minutes drive down the road.
I am just very tired with my heavy cold that has lasted 3 weeks in total and just recently got worse.

It's good to be able to write on here though.