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Carers UK Forum • Mum refusing medical investigation, finding hard to accept
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Mum refusing medical investigation, finding hard to accept

Posted: Mon May 17, 2021 11:02 pm
by Greenthumb365
I am one of my mum's carers, and she has a pretty substantial background of refusing to attend hospital appointments, refusing the follow up on test results, and discharging herself/ refusing admissions to the hospital against medical advice.

She has a number of different health conditions, and recently was asked to attend the hospital to discuss her repetitive infections. She finally agreed to go (this time- she refused to attend the appt on previous occasions). They have found that her blood count is extremely, dangerously low. Refused to agree to being admitted and only agreed to a blood transfusion if they would let her go home that evening. Her doctors are concerned as it didn't actually lift her blood levels, and they ordered a whole raft of tests.

She is due to go for a CT scan tomorrow morning and has informed me that she 'might' attend, and she'd 'have to see how she felt.' Based on previous experience, this is basically her refusing to attend the appt. and it's a good sign that she will refuse any future upcoming tests/scans too, as they'll be more complicated than a CT scan.

I can't imagine how worried she might be that these tests and scans will highlight something *else*, and give her another condition to have to carry, but I am absolutely worried sick about her. The doctors haven't minced their words about this being really concerning that the blood tranfusions aren't doing enough, so I'm in a blind panic that she'll continue to get sicker, to hte point where it's too late to manage whatever is causing her low blood levels.

Has anyone been in this boat before? Having a person they care for refuse to go through scans/tests and preferring to put blinkers on? I hope I haven't sounded too selfish or harsh here, but I just needed to get my fears out.

Re: Mum refusing medical investigation, finding hard to accept

Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 8:43 am
by bowlingbun
Can you give us a bit more background please?
How old is mum? What existing conditions does she have?
Do you live with her?
Does she own or rent her house?
How much care does she need already?
Does she just assume that you are going to be her slave/nurse/carer regardless of what she does, or does not do?