My mother was admitted again yesterday after an 'episode' (she has many, some they find a cause, often associated with acute anxiety/distress). Arrived A & E 6.30, I only found out at 12.00, when got there, taking BP which was super low, they still had her sitting up in bed, and hadn't seemed to have noticed that she had extreme pain in her wrist/hand/fingers (flare up of RA) until I pointed it out. Then I got into trouble for asking could I not help to get her moved up the bed so that the knee bend in the bed was in a good place for her (was pushing into her calf muscles, rather bad for circulation). Faces pulled and one HCA treated me like dirt after that. Nurse got a bit better after I said I noticed the face she was pulling. I feel I have to tread on eggshells to be approved of. Last night they took all her blankets away as she had a low grade fever - I've since found out that it is not current best practice and to me a form of torture as my mother kept saying in a really distressed voice "I'm so very cold", and also "Im in so much pain, can't anyone help me?" They tried many types of pain control and nothing helped, but they did not want to add anything in case she got too sleepy. While she was afraid of not being able to sleep all night which she hates understandably. A night of absolute horror for her and I cant say I slept too well before a busy day at work either.
Last admission, my sister and I had a hell of a time trying to help my mother keep in as good a condition as possible - encourage her to drink, help her to have a walk, let nurses know when she needed something as she often was not sure if she could ring her call bell, talk to Drs so they could better understand her past history and work out together what could be done for the future. I have to say the Drs were great at working in partnership with us, but very many of the nurses just seemed to find us a 'thorn in their side', being very defensive and protective about any information about our other that i usually need to know everything about to ensure she is OK. Shut up and put up was what it felt like. We eventually got permission to visit more often and help my mother from a visiting senior nursing officer on International Nurses Day!
Trying to get similar permission today, I asked PALS to help. They already used the argument of 'then all the patients will want their relatives to be there more often', which really disappointed and shocked me. and then she came back with my request flatly refused and no passing onto senior nursing..... From being asked to do so many things to assist my mother (e.g. care staff can't help with controlled meds, I need to request repeat prns of these controlled drugs, etc) a big responsibility, I hardly spend any time being my mother's daughter. To now, being persona non-grata and not just not required, but actually just in the way. I thought the mantra these days was partnership working with relatives/carers?
Has anyone had similar frustrating experiences? Anything that you have done that helped? I have a lovely nephew who is a doctor who has offered to talk to consultant - no news yet though, but that still leaves the nurses......
Any advice?
Last admission, my sister and I had a hell of a time trying to help my mother keep in as good a condition as possible - encourage her to drink, help her to have a walk, let nurses know when she needed something as she often was not sure if she could ring her call bell, talk to Drs so they could better understand her past history and work out together what could be done for the future. I have to say the Drs were great at working in partnership with us, but very many of the nurses just seemed to find us a 'thorn in their side', being very defensive and protective about any information about our other that i usually need to know everything about to ensure she is OK. Shut up and put up was what it felt like. We eventually got permission to visit more often and help my mother from a visiting senior nursing officer on International Nurses Day!
Trying to get similar permission today, I asked PALS to help. They already used the argument of 'then all the patients will want their relatives to be there more often', which really disappointed and shocked me. and then she came back with my request flatly refused and no passing onto senior nursing..... From being asked to do so many things to assist my mother (e.g. care staff can't help with controlled meds, I need to request repeat prns of these controlled drugs, etc) a big responsibility, I hardly spend any time being my mother's daughter. To now, being persona non-grata and not just not required, but actually just in the way. I thought the mantra these days was partnership working with relatives/carers?
Has anyone had similar frustrating experiences? Anything that you have done that helped? I have a lovely nephew who is a doctor who has offered to talk to consultant - no news yet though, but that still leaves the nurses......
Any advice?