Sue, hope you haven't yet gone to your meeting because I wanted to give my support to your decision to NOT HAVE YOUR MUM BACK HOME.
You cannot do it, and you SHOULD not do it.
Remember: It is absolutely IRRELEVANT just WHY you don't want her home, and WHY you don't want to be responsible for looking after her....it is NONE OF THE SOCIAL WORKER'S BUSINESS!
You DO NOT HAVE TO JUSTIFY YOUR DECISION to them!
This is because you have NO legally enforceable duty of care towards your mother! You can withdraw care TOTALLY at any time! You could, if you wished, actually never set eyes on her again!
Now, SS know this perfectly well, which is why they are trying to steam-roller you into taking her back (off their hands!)
They will try and persuade you that they can set up this care package or that care package or whatever whatever but their SOLE AIM is to pass her back to you......because IT'S CHEAPER for them! (I'm assuming that your mum is below the self-pay limit of £23k in savings and property!)
You spelt it out perfectly clearly - the ONLY 'pro' of having your mum back is that she would like it!
Well, when she's comfortable in a care home being well looked after for all her care needs, you can still have her 'home for the weekend' or whatever you can cope with, etc etc.
The time has come for her to be in residential care.
SS have NO RIGHT to force you to take her back. Their only 'power' is that of 'browbeating' and 'persuasion' and 'guilt-inducement'.
All you have to say is ' I don't want to care for her any more - it's all got too much after all these years, she's getting worse and I am OUT OF IT. So, it's time for residential care and that's that. I am NOT doing any more for her.'
You've both paid taxes all your life - if she's entitled to residential care, then that's that. If she isn't, ie above the £23k limit, then again, all you have to say to SS is 'I don't want to look after her any more' and they will have to organise her residential care, and take her money to pay for it.
YOU MUST HOLD THE LINE on this, or they will bully and berate you for THEIR OWN BENEFIT!
All the VERY best, and don't be browbeaten. They are ONLY thinking of themselves, whatever they may trot out about your poor mum blah blah blah.
Kindest wishes, and hold your nerve on this - you'll be intensely grateful afterwards, and when your mum is in a care home your visits and outings will be enjoyable and not a chore.... after 15 years of non-stop care, that is something to look forward to indeed. You've 'done your bit' many, many times over. If your mum loves you, as I hope she does, she would NOT want you to have to cope any longer......
All the best, Jenny
You cannot do it, and you SHOULD not do it.
Remember: It is absolutely IRRELEVANT just WHY you don't want her home, and WHY you don't want to be responsible for looking after her....it is NONE OF THE SOCIAL WORKER'S BUSINESS!
You DO NOT HAVE TO JUSTIFY YOUR DECISION to them!
This is because you have NO legally enforceable duty of care towards your mother! You can withdraw care TOTALLY at any time! You could, if you wished, actually never set eyes on her again!
Now, SS know this perfectly well, which is why they are trying to steam-roller you into taking her back (off their hands!)
They will try and persuade you that they can set up this care package or that care package or whatever whatever but their SOLE AIM is to pass her back to you......because IT'S CHEAPER for them! (I'm assuming that your mum is below the self-pay limit of £23k in savings and property!)
You spelt it out perfectly clearly - the ONLY 'pro' of having your mum back is that she would like it!
Well, when she's comfortable in a care home being well looked after for all her care needs, you can still have her 'home for the weekend' or whatever you can cope with, etc etc.
The time has come for her to be in residential care.
SS have NO RIGHT to force you to take her back. Their only 'power' is that of 'browbeating' and 'persuasion' and 'guilt-inducement'.
All you have to say is ' I don't want to care for her any more - it's all got too much after all these years, she's getting worse and I am OUT OF IT. So, it's time for residential care and that's that. I am NOT doing any more for her.'
You've both paid taxes all your life - if she's entitled to residential care, then that's that. If she isn't, ie above the £23k limit, then again, all you have to say to SS is 'I don't want to look after her any more' and they will have to organise her residential care, and take her money to pay for it.
YOU MUST HOLD THE LINE on this, or they will bully and berate you for THEIR OWN BENEFIT!
All the VERY best, and don't be browbeaten. They are ONLY thinking of themselves, whatever they may trot out about your poor mum blah blah blah.
Kindest wishes, and hold your nerve on this - you'll be intensely grateful afterwards, and when your mum is in a care home your visits and outings will be enjoyable and not a chore.... after 15 years of non-stop care, that is something to look forward to indeed. You've 'done your bit' many, many times over. If your mum loves you, as I hope she does, she would NOT want you to have to cope any longer......
All the best, Jenny