Mother vulnerable adult

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Hi Guys. My Mother suffered Strokes 2012, and now has Alzhiemers/Dementia. She supposedly has advocacy - how independent they claim to be is the question. Both her advocate and social worker have been at her house, without me being there, even though I have Power of Attorney. I'm concerned that they'd be asking leading questions, ie manipulating questions to suit themselves; which has happened in the past.

There's a meeting the social worker insisted will go ahead 'with or without me' this Wednesday. I am to bar this upstart of a social worker entry. My advocate who told me last week he couldn't attend, concerns it'd trigger a safe-guarding meeting. Can I actually trigger one for me, with how this social worker is with me?

Please help? Sick + tired of being bullied, controlled, dictated to; even by my own 'advocate' - who himself a social worker (non practicing. - he claims) - so obviously there are conflicts of interest going on.

I'm the one looked down on and quiried for not acting in my Mother's best interested! Code for their entitlement to lord it over me. Totally out of order.

Is it worth me flagging up a safe-guarding concern of how I'm treated by these incompetants?
Sorry if this is either incorrect or irrelevant or financially impossible, but would it make sense to bite the bullet and go down the route of Court of Protection, then you could get health and welfare 'power' as well as the financial PoA? Then your mum wouldn't need an advocate??
I have Power of Attorney for Health + Welfare. Just social workers all along plus now my Mother's advocate claim + insist she has full capacity. Which I have known for some time that's disputable. Very frustrating, as all concerned are against me. All my Mother want to do is die.
So sorry you are in this position. How can the advocate/social worker alone be in a position to say with any medical certainty/legal weight that your mother has full capacity?
Thing is they talk me round to their way of how it all works; they actually talk me down, insist my Mother has mental capacity, like it's a competition they have to be right. Their logic stinks.

I have proof from an independent source who has been looking into my Mother's care fees situation ie NHS Continuing Health Care. Which she shouldn't be paying as there are severe health issues, decision making, behavioural issues a massive one. But these 'jobsworths' aren't interested. I feel totally discriminated, just coz I'm not in their profession. Just coz they have to power to disrespect what they don'l like to hear, and I'm the one a social worker accused me of that.

Like my Mother constantly states, if they were in here situation ie having suffered severe Strokes to incapacitate her, ie loss of mobility as well as Dementia; only then would they understand. Just saying they 'understand' when clearly they're not even interested, is totally wrong. Especially when the band together against us.
Butterfly, I believe the social worker could raise safeguarding concerns if you prevent them from seeing your mother. However, I don't believe the meeting should go ahead if your advocate can't make it. I would allow the social worker to see your mum, but insist the meeting is rescheduled. I don't think you can call a safeguarding alert on the social worker for yourself, but you could say you feel bullied.

Melly1
Butterfly 68
I don't know if this will help you. If you Google
Decision Support Tool for NHS Continuing Healthcare, you will find the scoring requirements. It's lots of reading, but you will have an idea of what is required. It could arm you so you can dispute. I went with more knowledge than was expected.
Do feel for you
Apologies if you already know this or it isn't any help.
I have put in complaints to the local authority since 2013, about me being harassed, bullied, controlled, dictated to, they've always not been upheld. I have constantly been treated as an irrelevance. I have written to the local government ombudsman, who only deal with 1 year's worth of complaints, so they'll never get a full picture. They even have the law backing that: yes 1 year the law requires them to investigate. Pathetic to say the least.

As to the Decision Support Tool for Continuing Health Care, I have a company; Compass CHC involved. They have done their own investigation and have concluded that my Mother has substantial health issues.