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Meeting with consultant - Carers UK Forum

Meeting with consultant

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Hubbys nurse recommended that I have a meeting with the consultant to find out whats going on. So I had the meeting this morning. The lady from Alzheimer's society came to see me yesterday and she help me list some questions for hubby's consultant
Consultants thinks we are probably looking at two types of dementia. Korscoffs and vascular. She says he also has an organic mood disorder as well caused by brain damage he's probable had for years She said he is one of those people that kept slipping through the net and probably never got the right treatment for the mood disorder. She says that the is one of his medications he should never have been on and they are weaning him off that at the moment. This drug can cause dementia type symptoms. She doesn't think this drug is causing the dementia symptoms but she explained that they don't give a dementia diagnoses easily and they have to exclude every thing So even though she is saying he does have a dementia she won't make that official until this drug is completely stopped and another mmse test is done. He will hopefully have his MRI done next week but he will be in hospital for another six weeks. She suggest I get an enduring power of attorney for him. She felt that he could not make any advanced directives as he is now beyond the stage where he could understand what that meant. She thinks he may even be near the stage where I will have to go to court to get power of attorney but to see a solicitor anyway and get the process started. It all a lot to take in my second daughter can't handle this and won't accept anything I say
These things take time but at least you have got the ball rolling.Hopefully it will not be too long before they can get a full diagnosis and sort out his medication.Best wishes. Image Image
Hi Joanna

glad to hear that the ball is finally rolling - sounds like you have a good consultant there.

It is a lot for your daughter to take in (and for you too) - don't push her too hard into acceptance; denial is common - acceptance will come. Did the consultant give you any literature ? If so try leave it lying around where your daughter can see it and read it in her own time and when she's ready your support worker from the Alzheimer's Society will be glad to talk to her.

"Dementia" is a word we all dread to hear and we have pre-conceived notions of what it involves. Because of media attention these notions nearly always relate to the later stages of the disease and don't show that many sufferers go years between the various stages of decline.

Education, eduation, education is the key - research and read as much as you can.The Alzheimer's Society's website is a good place to start, there is a mass of information there relating to all kinds of dementia and their causes (there are over 100 illnesses that can cause dementia). Some respond better to treatment than others.

If the consultant thinks your OH is now 'beyond understanding' then it is most likely that you will have to apply to The Court of Protection for Power of Attorney - and this is best handled by a solicitor. But it will give you peace of mind to handle his affairs and makes sense in the long run.

Hopefully sorting out his medication will mean an improvement in his condition and don't forget we are here for you at any time you need to talk or want advice.
I asked the consultant not to sugar coat anything. I want to know everything that's happening. We discussed his life exspectancy and taking into account his other medical condition she said we may only have a few years but certainly not more than five. We were told bottomline he is terminally I'll.
At the moment I'm on auto piliot. And I may be coming across as a little cold to my daughter as my practical side has temporarily taken over. I know that the emotions of all this will catch up with me and I think I'm trying to get as much done before that happens or it maybe I'm avoiding even sitting down do I don't have to think about losing hubby and what that's going to involve
The lady from az gave me loads of fact sheets she said she will arrange a meeting with the family when they are ready
As for getting hubby home I will be meeting with the social worker. And after that probably the council. I may have to let scary woman out of her box if I don't get all that hubby needs.
Thanks for you support
Dear Joanna,

I'm so sorry to learn of your husbands prognosis, nothing really prepares you for news like that. The consultant sounds brilliant, so does the person from the Alzheimers Society, with these two good people involved, you can feel reasonably confident that there will always be support for you.

For the moment, be a bit vague with your daughter about things, just drip feed information that you think she can handle, but reassure her each time as well, that you'll be supported and get through it together. Explain that there's nothing you can do to make dad better but you intend to do your very best for him.

As you know he's going to be in hospital for 6 weeks, this would be a good time to start the ball rolling about the Power of Attorney. If you have a family solicitor, it would be good to discuss what else you should be thinking about. The more prepared you become at this stage, the easier things will be in the future.
i'm so sorry joanna,that's quite a definite diagnosis,but at least you finally got some answers,you will probably be in a state of shock at the minute feeling that the fight is over and feeling very numb.if you are anything like me you will probably be in what i can only describe as being in a grieving process,i was like this when my dad was diagnosed and like it now the wife has it,crying for no reason and feeling cheated and angry.
Agree with everything that as been said Joanna, just sending you ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
know we are all here for you.
Minnie
So sorry Joanna that the prognosis was not good.
Give yourself time to come to terms with it properly.
Take care of yourself too
(((((HUGS))))
Big row has broken out with my three daughters. I had my youngest daughter with me at the meeting yesterday and she is contradicting me to my other two daughters. I think she must have heard a different conversation than I did. I'm trying to get as much of the practical stuff done as quickly as possible and they are interpreting that as I want him dead. I was planning on making an appointment with the solicitor this morning and my daughter got really angry with me and said the consultant didn't say we needed a power of attorney she was just using that as an example of his confusion. I could scream. All this fighting and they can't see that it isn't about them or me it's about making the most of the time we have. I know they don't want to face this for Gods sake this is not how i saw my future with my husband.
They are in denial Joanna, they don't want to face it, it's well you have some strength
in you. It will be harder if they all fight. you are doing your best under very
difficult circumstances , let them fight amongst themselves, if you get emotional
or fight back, it might not stop, open up the flood gates,
you will get really ill. all very hard, BIG HUGS
Minnie