Maybe Im Getting old....

[rabidrabbit]

If we,or I,want to be treated with due respect,as I think I do,then,I must extend that right to others.Yes,its not one sided.
People,even postmen,have feelings.No one has,in my view,the right to be abusive,nasty,etc etc,because they feel hard done by.Often people just use any handy official to hand as a punch bag for all the indignities,frustrations,hurts they feel.That is understanderble.

In the end,Treat others as you yourself seek to be treated,I rarley find being nasty gets anyone very far or brings the respect we seek.We,in the end,just look pretty stupid,pathetic,and just small.Only really deminishing ourselves.

Deriving some minor victory by being nasty to some official may give a brief high,but,hay,its a sad state of affairs if thats what makes a persons day.

RESPECT.We deserve it,so do those we meet.

Maxi- I was the person being abused by a nasty individual who along with a few friends had made our lives a misery. I derive satisfaction in what to us was a major victory over harassment. I derive great pleasure every morning in watching him behave impeccably as he has to do. He had to learn the meaning of RESPECT the hard way!

[Maxi]

Again,Everyone is different,and,anyone subjected to any form of bullying is rightly,angry,no one should ever endure that.
I merely speak for myself,as you do.We can only do that,speak for ourselves.

I see no great virtue in any form of uglyness,nastyness,or just-plain threatening behaviour from any quarter.
Everyone has their own view,equally valid,equally worthy,and we all live by our own code,whatever it is.

In my own case,if I had cause to complain about a postman,who comes daily,because he or she is,in my view,not treating me with due respect,and,as a result,the postman is somewhat better,and learns from it,fine.seems good.

Respect is the watchword.I wouldnt delight in it though.Lifes far too short,in my view,for such petty things.I allways feel,if I need to complain about a postman,or any service-provider I need regularly,even rely or depend upon,Id be aiming at a
compromise.Afterall,it does me no favours to be having the same provider calling daily,with attitude,due to my complaint.
I like resolutions we can all live with.

I would never seek to rub the fellows nose in it.In the end,Life is far too short,in my view,for all this stuff.

To each his or her own.

[rabidrabbit]

There can be no compromise with bullies. They have to accept the consequences of their action- it's called discipline- a good old fashioned word! I take great pleasure that the outcome is I get treated properly and know he will never do it again to me or anyone else. As I said before , he is damned lucky to have his job. This was largely down to me not filing a complaint and him being caught out by shooting himself in the foot. "Rubbing people's nose in it" doesn't come into the equation- watching people hoist themselves by their own petard is always amusing.

[Maxi]

as i dont know,apart from the things youve shared,the circumstances of which you speak,and,its never good to be specific to any one case,and,again,as we all live our own lives,by our own code,and do our own thing,our own way,its best to keep to the general point,i think.

again that too is dependant upon each persons view.

i dont put-up with abuse of any sort,myself,i dont feel anyone should,i try to be respectfull,and not go down the road of being nasty to others.

its my view,that,i dont say anyone is lucky to have a job.I allways feel unless you walk in the other fellows shoes a while,you cannot,from the viewpoint of,as granny put it :"The Hurler on the Ditch",the spectator,say how it is for the other
chap.It may seem he or she is "Lucky" to have a job,but thats only an impression we form in our minds eye.

Many HATE their jobs,but have families,carees etc to support,and we,of all people,know what existing on state benefits is all about,poverty.


So,I never judge others as being fortunate in having a job.

I know one thing,no one deserves to be treated with contempt,or disrespect.

[Guest]

You obviously have not been the victim of a bully, Maxi, bullies, i.e. people who get pleasure from causing others physical or emotional pain, are contemptuous and not deserving of respect.

[rabidrabbit]

I live in a small community and I do know the family circumstances of our postman which is why we let him off so lightly and he is lucky that we are so tolerant. People get jobs on merit and are expected to perform them properly. Just because someone has a low paid job doesn't mean they can do as they like. Just because some one is better off doesn't mean they can be abused by people in low paid jobs- and I am taking about real abuse. That is just resentment.Targeting a family with a member with Downs Syndrome is just plain nasty. Looking a your original post you seem to think being addressed as "Oi Mate" is "abuse". Personally I couldn't give a fig if someone called out "Oi Missus" and perhaps he was trying to be helpful when he told you the phone was out of order. Perhaps you should think about the poor security man- probably the lowest paid job there is.

[Maxi]

The limitations of glimsing lives lived,on these boards,is we make assumptions,oh dear.

I happened to have had years of crushing bullying at school,it has left me very affected by those wretched years,even now,so long after I endured the bullying.So,yes,I DO know what it is to be bullied.

It has made me believe in the dignity and respect of every person and their right to respect.I dont feel any gain or anything good comes of being nasty.

We are all shaped by our own lives.

I merely get a hint,fleeting glimses of lives lived here.I never assume anything as I dont know the lives behind those small
insights people choose to share here.

[Guest]

Sorry to hear that you were bullied at school, Maxi, bullying by any age group is traumatic for its victims and always unacceptable. But we were talking about adults in this thread and I have no respect for those who get pleasure from damaging and destroying lives through abuse and bullying, only contempt, I have learned that trying to treat them as you would wish to be treated yourself merely gives them the green light to escalate their bullying behaviour.

[Maxi]

Be it adult or child bullying,I see no distinction.Its just as crushing.I think on this topic we shall differ in our view.
I dont see that diminishing myself to the level of the bully,by being dis-respectfull,is really of no real merit.Not for me,anyway.

BULLYING is vile at any age.I think that,regardless of the age group being discussed here,you cannot separate,my mere age,the effects of bullying on the person.

But,we seem to see the responce to bullying differently,and thats as it should be.All views are valid.


I wont ever see lack of respect as any sort of validity.

[Guest]

I dont see that diminishing myself to the level of the bully,by being dis-respectfull,is really of no real merit.Not for me,anyway.

Having no respect for someone is not the same as being disrespectful, having no respect for someone is passive, it is a feeling, being disrespectful is active, it is something which is shown through words or actions, therefore having no respect for someone is not diminishing oneself to the level of the bully.