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lost daughter - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

lost daughter

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
64 posts
Image Very true myrtle.
It appears that this tutor is taking control of sammy ,dictating who goes near her etc,but our side of things still has not been heard, still different laws for the establishment.
It seems this tutor is the only one that our daughter can communicate through that we dont seem to of been listning for 20yrs.
Take off holiday times and our daughter was only at this college for 3 months.
They are still pushing her around in her electric wheelchair for gods sake.
still will keep you posted have been told that will recieve a letter soon from com care no doubt we have been horrible parents for the last 20 yrs.
I'm absolutely positive you have been great parents.
Please keep in touch and let us know how this turns out.
Love Myrtle
Hi Myrtle,
Still no news awaiting the next kick in the teeth.
This tutor who seems to be the main problem has blocked everyone who knew our daughter from seeing her from carers to transport drivers who took her and brought her back from college and the powers that be allow this by saying its our daughters wishes, so all these people did not care for her , crap.
This person has systematically removed all the people who can communicate with our daughter.
Could you get all these people to write a letter to your solicitor, maybe that would get you somewhere?
Keep strong.
Hi, Jonjo,

I feel so sad for you. Have you tried speaking to your MP? If you tell him/her that you are concerned for your daughter's welfare as she has been separated from all that is familiar (including her family) and you believe this to be against her wishes, I am sure you will get a top-level enquiry into the situation very quickly.

Do keep in touch.
Pysie xx
Image Hi pysie,
yes have got in touch with mp even sent fax to prime minister, mp looking into it.
How the hell do you prove that this tutor has manipulated our daughter that is the problem,establishment backs establishment.
Our daughter relies on a dynavox speach machine that is her only means of communicating fully even with us.Ihave a fax from this tutor asking for her dynavox in late feb and also her symbols book these being the only ways apart from a few words that she uses. Our daughter could therefore not communicate with anyone at home fully as this tutor kept the speech aids and never returned them. It all stinks.
Morning Jon,

I have been following your postings since the beginning but found it a little hard to reply at first as your circumstances have really knocked me for six.Mine are so different to yours but the one similarity is the fact both told we had no rights and I had even less than you as I am only a sister.After 10 years out of the picture my dad came back after mams death and he took full control of brother.That no longer the case although he does still have all the rights.

I cant say too much as mine still ongoing but I went down the same road you have,phone calls,MP's but was all taking too long.Emotions obviously were running very high,no sleep,constant worry of was brother alright,was he safe,all this on top of grieving for my mam.

I changed my tactics Jon,I started phoning up to 20 times a day.If I was told noone was available or out of the building I just said fine,no problem but 30 mins later I was sat in their waiting rooms and never budged till I was seen.Although was hard Jon,I always remained calm but forceful.

Now I do have rights albeit they are informal and I also have the authorities on my side.
There is still a long road ahead but I will see it through as I have no doubt you and your family will Jon.

I guess what I am saying is ,that although no immediate answers available,just dont give up Jon.Use us to get some strength if needed,sound off about anyone and anything.Dont bottle your worries up.Whilst this is ongoing try gather as much information from people you have had dealings with over the years about your daughter,likes of consultants,teachers from schools,Gps.These are all professional people who over the years not had any problems with you.

You may never need these character references but then again you might.Cope with the here and now Jon but also try be prepared for what ever comes up in the future.
We use the word battle so many times when we are carers and you never go in to battle unprepared.The more ammunition you can gather now to support you Jon the better.

Please keep us posted when you can.
Be strong Jon.....
x x x
Image Hi Rosemary,
Many thanks for contact, am writing to our daughter to see if she wants to see her old tutors from victoria education centre also one of her carers from where we live also to insist thst aduult care do not allow this tutor access to letter as we feel she will influence our daughter to say no.
It would be very strange if she did say no as these people worked with our daughter for 6 yrs and 10 yrs respectivly.
Hi again Jon,

Although I never accessed it,social services did offer me an advocacy service from an outside organisation,people who had no involvement in our circumstances.They were to act as a go between and also to find out my brothers wishes.Whilst I believe he has his own rights I also knew he was able to change his mind every few minutes and different answers given to different people.Also they had no one who could use sign language,brother has no speech at all.Maybe worth making enquiries to see if such a service available for you and thinking over if it would benefit you.Just a thought.

Chin up
Hi Jon

I have no advice to offer, as you seem to be taking the bull by the horns and going to the MPs. I hope there is some help available for you.

I just wanted you to know that I so feel for you, and add my names to the list of supporters you have for your cause

Take care

64 posts