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Lone and I do mean lone carers. - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Lone and I do mean lone carers.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
yes!, I also care for my Wife with no real Help from anyone, I also do a full time job, I have been caring for my Wife for the last Two Years so far.
I care for my hubby and have done for the past 14 years - no help whatsoever and family don't bother even asking if we are ok. When I had breast cancer diagnosis, operation followed by chemo, I had to carry on caring for hubby
Hello Magic Fairy, That's a name & a half sounds like some 60s recreational medication which has a cracking name. Yes, so glad you have highlighted a situation I have been struggling with for some time now 4 0r 6 years I think probably longer. But I often feel isolated De's don't have a clue usually ignore me when we go to the doctors makes me feel like a right idiot & Mr Cameron wants a depression screen test for carers - bless him - no idea at all!
So yes so glad you highlighted this situation - caring in isolation. i'll be honest crying really helps - the Samaritans are also fantastic I phone them often - couldn't cope without their unconditional support : if there are any reading this God bless you (SERIOUSLY)
Finally what ever happened to our society in which we as carers struggle in is isolation to provide support - is it me or have we as a society seriously lost the plot ? Image Image Image
Again great topic this is exactly what this forum site is all about - our struggle & some recognition of that struggle in the face of an oppressive government / socity / god bless.
Hi Magic Fairy - Yup know exactly what you mean.....care full time for my husband, house full of kids etc but so very very alone. Wish we had Skype or teamspeak or something on this forum, would give us a chance to give each other verbal support. Stick in there hun, a day at a time xxxx
I so agree with you all, having cared for my husband for only a year, I feel myself crumbling....kids around doing their own thing think mum will cope etc....do we have a Skype/teamspeak facility available on this forum, would give us a chance to chat in person and that for me would help big-time......

Just a thought xxxx
It sounds good when folk talk of hobbies and days out
But don't you just get a lot of calls telling you about the
stuff that's gone wrong while you had an afternoon off
I am in exactly the same situation here Wife is scared to death of social services serving her a DOL order so they have not been allowed into our house as yet, and as far as I am concerned never will be either
If you contact Social Services they will do a carer assessment on YOU and give you lots of information including local groups for others who are carers where you can meet, chat and socialise etc, they offered me lots of help, even a grant for a few days away for myself
I`m a "lone" carer and have been since 1997 first when I cared for my father then since 2006 looking after my mother I have 1 brother who is himself seriously ill as is his wife they have 2 children who have their own families to care for and they all work full time one now in the N.H.S. I.T.U. ... I have never asked them for help as they as I say have their own lives to live ... I have been offered support from local authority since 1997 but at a cost that we could not afford- asked to pay for every single thing .. since 2012 I / we can now get free respite care 4 weeks per year from the M.O.D. ... have not used it as yet .... looking back I am more then happy to have cared for my parents alone ........carers assessments are useless they will tell you what you need as a carer but not that they will pay for any of it ....
This might sound familiar to other lone carers.

Recently I had to attend my brother's wedding, and it meant 3 days and tow nights away. My husband was invited too, but the journey (let alone the celebration) would have caused a serious relapse). So I had to leave him at home.

I did what I could in advance - had the contact details of a couple of (locally based) internet friends who could be called on in the case of a non 999 emergency, got all the prescriptions, housework and groceries sorted beforehand, made sure that reminders were in his phone etc, took both my mobile phones with me so that I could be contacted if need be, made sure he knew who could be called on... and spent the entire wedding weekend missing him and worried sick.

Anyway, when I got home and started posting up the photos a few twits, who are supposed to be our friends but haven't seen us for sometime, first assumed that the wedding weekend miraculously made him well enough to go with me. Sorry guys, it doesn't work like that. When I'd put them straight about that (do I need to tell you lot how upsetting it is to have to spell out how sick and/or disabled your caree is?), they started making offers to "pop round" if my husband needed anything while I was away. Image

One of the people who made that offer genuinely meant it (and I hope she'd have realised that she's on our emergency list anyway), but I'm darn sure the others didn't - they're disabled (their conditions worsen somewhat in winter), they've got a large family and they live quite a long drive from here through very slow moving traffic. I'm also left wondering, if they're that keen to help out, where were they when they knew I was weak as a kitten and recovering from a very serious illness last winter? Er, yeah that's right, nowhere around. Image