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Lone and I do mean lone carers. - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum

Lone and I do mean lone carers.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Have you contacted Carers Together at Romsey yet? Janet who is in charge has an MBE for her work, I'm full of admiration for her. She knows the problems of parent carers, she is one herself.
Hi Magic Fairy

I also have one child (now adult) who was frequently in hospital, totally accident prone and also asthmatic. The other had Conversion disorder where she suddenly would go totally paralysed. That caused amblulances blue lighting it.
When you are a carer that is your nature. I ended up jumping around panicking about everything concerning my dad because I cared so much that he was alright. He would laugh at me because he was a 6 ft man and I am a tiny wee woman. I had a stroke in 2005. Likely all the stress and lack of breaks caused that. I was so ill but my sole thoughts were no-one would look after my dad and my child is still at school!! I cant give in to this. True to form I didn't get any help when I got out the hospital.
It is the caring that matters and the damage to health that is can cause that is the big problem. I realise that when you care for a child you also have the worry of what happens to my child (probably an adult child) when I die. I saw the same thing when I had my stroke. I could not afford to be an invalid and definitely dropping dead was not going to be a good idea.
The point I make is that no matter the caring role you have to ensure the breaks and the help or you could be in poor health and still not get the help.
Duncaring
I currently am in that situation. I used to see someone two afternoons a week and be able to go out for two or three hours but since they became laid up with seriously bad gout in feet, knees and fingers I'm doing everything without a break and currently can't use my car even if I could get out as it needs attention which I'm going to have to see to tomorrow.

The planning for even that had to begin today. It didn't involve anyone else, just me making sure everything is thought about and planned. Always have to remember my phone even if I go to the bin in case I fall or something and need to summon help.

If I climb a ladder in the garden I have to make sure there is access to the back in case I fall so I can be reached.

When there is nobody else to rely on your whole life has to adjust in unbelievable ways.

Scruffy x
When there is nobody else to rely on your whole life has to adjust in unbelievable ways.
And ain't that the truth! I've gone from having a husband, 2 kids, family nearby, a very wide social circle and still burning the candle at both ends in my 50's to having to resort to asking the postman to change a bulb for me last week, otherwise I would have had to wait for son or s-i-l to visit (which could be weeks or even months as neither live close any more).

I wish I was 1 foot taller, I wish I was 20 years younger,I wish I was in the workplace, I wish I could take the time to have the surgery that would allow me to walk properly again, I wish this wasn't happening to me!!!!!
Absolutely. Don't you just wish that sometimes there was someone to take care of YOU, or even ask how you are? I am not just mum's carer, I am also ME. Last week I had fluey type bug, not ill but difficulty in thinking / putting one foot in front of the other. Still I had to sort out her medication, food, appointments, mental health etc. God knows what would happen if I was ever really ill .... Scary thought
[I am not just mum's carer, I am also ME.]quote,Anne.

I have forgotten who " me" is,and at the moment I am struggling,trying to find her again.I am resentful and scared of all that is happening with benefits for my two carees,worried about my daughter who is a single parent to two small children, one with a learning disability,trying to continue to be a Carer along with everything else that crops up,do the ordinary things in life such as cooking and shopping,thinking of birthdays and other anniversaries,just coming up to the worst anniversary,my younger son's death which is the same week as my elder son's birthday and a trial to get through(although trying something different this year and hopefully making some lovely new memories for the people I love and who love me).
Im lone carer and havent been out of the flipping house for days. My darling daughter has enough on her plate with an autistic 3 year old and a part time job - I have to help her out with his care too.My son is trying hard to climb the ladder at work. At the moment I am totally down and fighting hard to get out of it. Thank goodness for the internet. ME, who is me?? I really dont know lately. I was a busy working woman with a fab social life now Im this grey dull person that I do not recognise. My children are wonderful but really do not have time to help and I know that bothers them so I try not to let it show that I am down. I am lucky in that we are having a 4 day break from the 22nd but as you all know it would be less work to stay home. Its only the second time we have been away in 6 years and the last time hubby took ill (or rather more ill than usual) so I was in a different 4 walls though the view was better. All we can do is keep on putting one foot in front of the other and breathing in and out. Hugs to all
My caree is my husband. I get bugger all support and no help whatsoever.

There is nothing appropriate which is available in this area, I have asked, I have looked. There is nothing. Even in bed with scarlet fever (unable to read and barely able to stagger as far as the loo), I had to talk him through doing an online shop, because there was no other way of getting some urgently needed basics into the flat.

Even in the first few weeks of recovering, I still had to carry everything in and out of the flat, not to mention sorting out his prescription etc. I'm not dim, but there was no alternative. Eight months on I'm still recovering, at least partly because I couldn't take time to just concentrate on recovering.

He's got a slight remission at the moment, so I'm trying to use the tiny bit of free time to build up my stamina and lost muscle, but it's a struggle and a half.
<snip>I wish I was 1 foot taller, I wish I was 20 years younger,I wish I was in the workplace, I wish I could take the time to have the surgery that would allow me to walk properly again, I wish this wasn't happening to me!!!!!
Amen to most of that, but here we are, and it is happening, to each of us. One foot in front of the other, for as long as it takes.
Absolutely. Don't you just wish that sometimes there was someone to take care of YOU, or even ask how you are? <snip>God knows what would happen if I was ever really ill .... Scary thought
Been there, done that. Including the being really ill. To say that it was difficult is an understatement, and that's even with a well stocked fridge and freezer, plus a minisupermarket within 10 minutes' walk of the flat.