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Lone and I do mean lone carers. - Carers UK Forum

Lone and I do mean lone carers.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Are there any lone carers out there, people with no help or support from family, friends, partners, husbands, wives or social care.
People providing 24/7care in isolation.
Please let me know, I really Need to feel that I am not alone!
Hi Magic Fairy, I only care part time now, due to health problems. Have you tried to get some help? Caring 24/7 without any break or help is a long term recipe for disaster, you need at least a few hours regular break to recharge your batteries.
Hey magic I'm with ya
I look after my 93 year old Dad. I don't have a partner, I don't have any brothers or sisters. We get no support from Social Services. The lady who used to clean for my Mum & Dad goes in to see my Dad once a week for half an hour. That's it!
Hi Magic, I'm in your gang too I'm afraid xx
Me too! nobody could care less!
Hi Magic fairy,

We have no support either. But I'm lucky that S attends a specialist college. If he didn't I wouldn't cope (and he wouldn't cope with being with me 24/7 either.)

Melly1
I guess by your definition, Fairy Magic, I do have support. Care workers twice a day for 20 mins. However, everything else is down to me. No partner, no brothers or sisters, no good neighbourts etc, worse than useless relatives. I certainly feel alone, apart from this Forum of course!
Hi Magic Fairy

I am the other end of that situation now. I cared alone for 10 years. For 2 years before that I cared for two parents but they were able to hold each other up. When I lost my mum I had full care of my dad, plus 2 kids and a job. Now I have lost my dad the kids are grown up with kids of their own. They dont seem to find me satisfactory at all (wish I had known that when I was knocking my pan in to do all I could for them on top of working and caring). When they were adults and my dad in hospital they would visit ocassionally but if I said if you are visiting this afternoon I wont go they would not accept that. I still had to go. I visited twice a day while in hospital. I have stayed in the house sleeping on a couch despite there being 3 bedrooms not able to eat or have a bath due to it being micro meals and adaptations.
Since my dad died I have been diagnosed with 3 "rest of life" illnesses. My kids are no where to be seen. My parents acknowledged what I did by leaving to me in their Wills. My kids dont appreciate me (this is an understatement too much detail to mention) so I can expect to spend my life alone now. I will never be in good health.

I would strongly recommend that you get some help with caring and laying down your rules such as 3 weeks off per year, every Tuesday going to flower arranging. Sunday going to church pub and bookies Whatever you want but state the facts that on this day and that day you are going out and the caree is the responsibility of the local authority. And ALWAYS ALWAYS watch your health!!!!!

Duncaring
Thanks for the replies.
Dun caring I appreciate fully what you are saying.
I do however think that caring for a child is different, our need to protect is huge and yes self sacrificing. The life planning that goes with it is extremely daunting. Sole destroying.

To others caring for young adult children, on limited resources, how do we deal with this situation, I know so many of us ignore it because of the dread and fear.