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Carers UK Forum • locked-in - Page 3
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dragonlady is right- the last

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:25 pm
by daylily
dragonlady is right- the last fews days of someone's life can be uplifting.
My Mum was dying of bowel cancer which was not spotted because of her MS symptoms.
The Doctor told us she had 6 weeks and Mum survived another 5months.
She was 5 1/2 stone, had gangrene on her hip through bed sores but was still laughing and joking with us up till the end. She was obviously under powerful drugs but died happy because she was at home with my step-dad, my sister and myself with her.
Her sheer grit and determination has given us positives memories of her final moments.
It is such a shame that hospital care for the dying cannot be more compassionate and caring. It does not take much to make people in those circumstances content and their dignity should always be the 1st consideration.
As for assisted suicide- it's got to be a no-no. The whole concept is too complicated and no two situations are the same. Where do you draw the line?
Living wills on the other hand should definately be adhered to- no question.

quote, Dragonlady. No,we don't. That is

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:55 pm
by Lazydaisy
[We all have the right to refuse medical treatment which could extend our lives. I wouldn't class refusing treatment as suicide in terminal disease- it's how some people choose to make the best of it.]quote, Dragonlady.

No,we don't. That is exactly what ,my father said in his living will. He did not want lifesaving treatment.The hospital has NOT respected it. It was written years ago,and updated when necessary,the last time was a few months ago,via the GP.Dad discussed it with his three children,and we all signed the agreement to say we understood Dad's wishes.
All that I see now when I visit is a shell;my Dad's body, but with empty eyes,not caring who does what to him.

it's absolutely disgraceful Lazydaisy. Have you

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:35 pm
by daylily
it's absolutely disgraceful Lazydaisy.
Have you threatened them with legal action under human rights?
Tell them you'll claim compensation for undue pain and stress to your Dad.
Surely if the GP's signed it there should be something you can do.

I'm gobsmacked that they can get away with this!!!!!
My thoughts are with you all.

devil in the detail.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:35 pm
by Maxi
whats in a word?,a heck of a lot.Often we can airbrush out the ugly,sugar the pill by wordplay.but,in the end,as in most things,its interpretation,wars have been fought upon words,misinterpreted,misread,misunderstood,

in the end,its how each of us feels about it.

in my case,it just does not work for me".Assisted"Dying,Murder,Killing.dispatching.sending into the great beyond,onto Nevana,Suicide,call it whatever you like,just wont wash with me.

leaves a very bitter taste,dam ugly smell whatever way its dressed-up,spun,packaged,i just,at heart,in my gut,know,taking a life,and whichever way you mix it,comes to that reality,in the end,bumping-off another soul,just is not right,acceptable or moral,in my lexicon of dos and donts in life.

i think thats distastefull enough,ending another human beings life,but,trying,by terminology,title or wordplay to make it less than what it is,in truth,well,who are we fooling?.Ourselves?.

In the end,in that dead of night,alone,in the dark,we know,dont we?.in our hearts where mere wordplay has no reality,no effect,we know what it is?.We can never escape ourselves.that is the truth of it for me.

It is not taking a

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:39 am
by Lazydaisy
It is not taking a life, it is a life which is coming to a natural end.

What are we supposed to do?Just keep our old people alive forever more, because it is wrong to want life to end?
My late nan was almost 92, and loved her life,but she WANTED to live.Dad doesn't.
In the meantime, young people are losing their lives unnecessarily. I would gladly have given my life for my 21 year old son to carry on living. If the Drs could have taken my pancreas and given it to him, I would have done so, as would any parent who has lost a child and sees a way for it to be fixed.

I realise we will not see eye to eye on this, and I respect your point of view,but it is a terrible end of the life cycle for elderly people, to be kept alive,when their bodies are worn-out,they may be incontinent,confused etc.To me, it is cruelty to make them stay here in this world.
I love my Dad VERY MUCH.No,I do not want him to die. What I want, is the man who was, the man he will never be again.

No one really knows what

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:44 am
by rabidrabbit
No one really knows what is going on in someone else's head. Watching someone deteriorate is painfuland harrowing but who's suffering are we trying to end. Theirs or ours?

I only know what my

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:07 am
by Lazydaisy
I only know what my Dad would want.

Have read this thread with

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:40 am
by MaryB
Have read this thread with interest, whilst I do not agree with assisted suicide I really feel for those caught up in a dreadful situation with end of life care for their elderly relatives.
The problem for me is that I do not trust the powers that be not to abuse the situation and years down the line be making the decision that disabled people of any age are not enjoying good quality of life and would be better off dead, most especially those with learning difficulties.
We can already see a shift in society towards the sick and vulnerable, people are now judged to be either a contributer or non contributer, a burden or an assett.
I think we should be doing more to improve end of life care.

I haven't made a living

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:22 am
by rabidrabbit
I haven't made a living will- they are not legally enforcable in Scotland anyway but doctors here have to take into account any previous wishes of an incapax patient, though don't have to abide by them. My main reason though for not wanting one is that I simply do not know how I will feel when the curtain starts to close on the last act. On the whole most doctors are very sensible and compassionate when it comes to making end of life decisions. The withdrawal of certain treatments doesn't ensure a peaceful death and may in fact cause unnecessary suffering so how can we plan a dignified demise. I feel that if we keep trying to formalise matters doctors will have their hands tied by law and fear of litigation and patients will suffer more.

Putting my hand up here

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:58 am
by rosemary
Putting my hand up here as probably my fault this thread got split Image Image Image

I give you all permission to ban me for a week Image Image Image Image . No longer please as I would miss you too much Image