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Dementia care home want to charge extra - Carers UK Forum

Dementia care home want to charge extra

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I need some advice. I was caring for my 90 year old father until 6 months ago when I had to place him in a dementia care home. Recently he has started to become aggressive and anxious. He has managed to escape three times - once taking the lock off of the windows and climbing out. The care home want to put him on one-on-watch at an extra cost of £3,000 a week. We do not have that sort of money. The fees are already 6K a month. I am beside myself as to what to do. Any suggestions. Are the home being reasonable in asking me to pay extra?
I would have said not "unreasonable" to increase fees to provide one-to-one care - BUT £3000 per WEEK extra is totally out of order. Frankly I think they're trying it on in the hope you will remove you Father to another care home.

I think you may have to bite the bullet and find another, more secure unit where they are used to dealing with such demanding behaviour and can make sure he is safe.
You should not have to pay ANYTHING for his care. If he needs this level of care it should be funded by NHS Continuing Healthcare. Put this term in our search box and you will find lots of information about CHC.
Good Lord, where is that care home? Mayfair? Belgravia?!!!! Buckingham Palace??????

Even round me in the home counties stockbroker belt care homes don't cost that much!!!!!!!!!!

You are being ROYALLY ripped off.

Move him IMMEDIATELY.

Sadly, but in a way, 'usefully', when dementia is deep, it really doesn't matter WHERE the person is, as they haven't a clue about their surroundings. They could be on the moon, or South America. It's all the same to them.

Yes, you may have to travel a bit further to visit, but if a suitable home is 'far away' but loads cheaper (ie, in a location where labour costs are lower)(see below) then it's WELL worth it.

I've moved my MIL with dementia out of the Home Counties and down to the West Country in a home that costs £850 a week compared with the £1100-1200 it costs ups here (and that, by the way is for a LUXURY home up here - nowhere NEAR the £6k rip off you are being charged!

As for the issue of your dad 'escaping' well, my poor MIL was a chronic 'escapee' - she got 'expelled' from two homes for continually trying to escape (she did, a couple of times, hence the expulsion!.)

So she simply got moved to a home for the EMI (Elderly Mentally Infirm) with a secure unit.

The unit was 'downstairs' (not a basement, but the home was built on a slope, and the lower floor therefore was 'downstairs' but had fire doors out to the car park, and windows on the other side to a kind of sunken patio, but a lot of sunshine all the same).

The key point though was that the only exit and entrance to the secure unit was via a lift which required a code to operate (sadly, you could go 'down' without the code, you just could not come back up.....), and stair gates on the stairs, again, code operated. Since all the 'residents' had deep dementia they could use the code exits, and so could only wander around in a pretty safe way, ie, up and down the corridors, into the lounges, and out across the patio and back indoors again.

So, poor MIL was 'free to wander' but not actually 'get out'. (When she was still 'not too bad' I could take her out with me for drives).

Also, to 'calm' her she was on a regular low-dose tranquilliser, Diazapam, which made her less agitated.

She certainly did NOT require 'one to one' supervision! There were day and night staff, and all the 'wanderers' (of which my MIL was NOT the only one by any means!), could wander around the unit, day or night, and have toast and a cup of tea if they wanted it from the carer's kitchenette, and that was that.

So, it's absolute NONSENSE what your father's care home is telling you. Get him out AT ONCE. Only thing, they will require a month's notice or you pay for that 'missing month' as they will have a 'vacancy' (A home that rip off should be totally vacant anyway).

I have TRULY never heard of such a thing as they are telling you.

(DO consider a home further away from wherever you are - because wages are simply lower in the west country, and because running costs ,eg, cost of property - are so much lower, it means the fees are lower.....)(but the care is just as good, if not better - more 'local' - care work is often the only work available!)(and the environment usually MUCH nicer!)

Also, speaking of fees, you say 'we' can't afford it. But your dad is either self-funding THROUGH HIS OWN MONEY (ie, if he has more than £23k in property or savings) or he is funded by his Local Authority if he is below that threshold.

YOU DO NOT PAY HIS FEES OUT OF YOUR OWN MONEY!

(OK, if you are living inHIS house that is different) (as in, the LA would require it to be sold up to free up money to pay for his own care home fees)

Remember, NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US has ANY 'legal duty of care' towards our parents or any other adult! We just don't. Care homes and LAs try to 'con' us that we do, but we do NOT.

As I say, it's perfectly straightforward - if HE has money above that £23k threshold, then HE pays, if he doesn't, then the LA pays (there's a 'part payment' sliding scale till he is down to £14k only, at which point they pay entirely)

CHC MAY be available for the 'nursing' portion of his fees (but not the dementia portion), but care homes are usually very good at sorting that out! My MIL gets £150 a week from CHC, and she pays (I pay from her funds) the rest £700. It's a hundred pounds a day for her to pay for herself (sigh). But NOWHERE NEAR that ludicrous £6k

Finally, remember, sadly,that when dementia is that bad, they TRULY do not know where they are! SO MANY care homes are 'sold' not to the resident, but their families! The care homes want to look like luxury hotels, to make the FAMILY 'feel better'. The resident couldn't care less. What matters to the resident is the quality of the CARE - the kindess and attentiveness and patience and good humour of the staff, and whether they are being 'entertained' (ALL care homes should have daily programmes of mind-and-body- stimulating 'games' and so on during the day.)

Sadly, the residents themselves have no idea if they are in a luxury 'hotel' or a modest 'hostel'. They don't notice it any more.

As for fod, what they want is 'sweet carbs' not expensive meat and two veg etc etc!

All the best, but get your poor dad out of that horrible home, into a 'sensible secure' one, and get the GP to prescribe anti-anxiety meds. It's REALLY sad, but there it is - his body has outlived his mind, sigh, and the best he, and you, can now hope for is a 'peaceful end' to a life that has gone into 'overdraft'. SOOOOO sad. (My poor MIL is now in a wheelchair all the time, and sleeps. Soon she will just be bedbound. SHe is now out of the secure unit ironically, as she is non-mobile. We all pray for her release from this nightmare as son as she can 'give in' to what will be her final 'escape'.....)