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is this dementia/alzheimers - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

is this dementia/alzheimers

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi
I am an unpaid carer, friend to someone ill, I don't get paid, no family nearby not seen them for years.

You would have thought the professional carers would notice I suppose too busy.


I thinks thats a lot of the problem I have no experience of dementia so don't know what to do so thanks for the guidance.

I realise now what is going on, the cognative bit is going but like you say very difficult, I have to change my own way of thinking to suit someone else.

I did notice a while ago, I said to one of the carers who made a note but nothing happened.


So thank you never had any experience of dementia before, so it's good this forum exists. I would have carried on blundering along.
Does your friend have family at all? The thing is, at some point as dementia increases, she will lose her legal mental capacity, and 'someone else' will have to become, effectively her 'guardian'.

For this reason Power of Attorney needs to be set up now. If she doesn't have family, or none she can trust, would she trust you with it? Do you want to have this to cope with?

Beyond finances, there will come a time when she needs to have full time care (unless she dies of something else first). For all her GP etc ignoring her mental deterioriation, at some point she is most likely going to have to move into residential care.

Her care needs will increase drastically. She will become doubly incontienent, unable to walk, unable to talk. Then take to her bed and stare and the ceiling when she is not asleep. It is a dreadful disease, and it will kill unless something else does first.

I'm sorry to paint such an unrelentingly grim future, and hopefully something else WILL kill her first (a kinder death, surely?)(though the one 'upside' of dementia when it reaches that stage is that patients do not know they have it - my poor MIL doesn't any more - and they have no 'fear of death' as they don't realise it is happening).

Hopefully, too, she will have another few years of decent quality of life, though she will need more and more care even so. I think my MIL did enjoy her outings with me until she could not longer walk. To an extent, she still gets a little enjoyment out of life - she managed to eat a slice of her birthday cake yesterday (with me feeding her slowly) and polished it all off.

PS on the financial front, it's little known that someone with dementia is exempt from council tax. I don't know how 'bad' they have to be though, for that to kick in. You could phone the council maybe?
You mentioned that she has "carers". Are they arranged privately, or through Social Services? If Social Services, then ring them directly, and ask to speak to the "Elderly Care Team" or similar, and explain your thoughts. Telling a carer won't neccessarity get the message to the right place I'm afraid.
Agree with others - it does sound like dementia.

Also agree it is a nightmare to get action taken and a diagnosis unless the person co-operates. In this situation with my husband who is 79. Yes I mention 'confusion' to nurses but nothing happens.Why should it when I cost the NHS nothing? Do write to the GP. Sadly it often does not get diagnosed until some sort of crisis occurs. Can you write to the manager of the private company as if I understand correctly, the lady has paid carers.
Power of attorney I feel I am not really the person to take over all the legal responsabilitys, I just don't know them well enough, I thought in cases like this social services do the best interests.
There is family but estranged, so how does happen does social services contact them?

She does get paid carers through social services, one has noticed odd behaviour had a chat to me , i will have to phone up their office and the GP.

and see what happens.