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Im really sorry - Carers UK Forum

Im really sorry

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But I need to vent before I explode.

I am fed up! Ive had it, ive had enough of people treating me like dirt.
Wind the clocks back a few months, I suspect my sister is having an affair (she is married with 2 kids), I have my reasons I only had to read facebook comments to realise it, she denies it, loverboy is on there as well, denies it but also tells me he loves my sister.

Sister leaves her kids with me for a week while she "sorts things out with her husband", she didnt, she spent the entire week with her new toyboy lover. Kids go back early after treating my wife like dirt when my back was turned (they know better than to mess me about).
She then goes to Kent on a works training course in a hotel, (Ive never known a works training course at a hotel take place on a weekend) at the same time loverboy goes on a camping holiday on his own in the new forest, in his photos is the exact same duvet cover as my sisters but how do you take a photo of yourself laying on the bed in the tent if you are on your own?

So then it all comes out in the open, she leaves her husband and a row between me and her ensues as im not happy my trusted and beloved sister has lied to me (its one thing I cannot stand) and she then tells me a secret that she has known for years, My dad is NOT my dad. Now ive blown a gasket, we had this arguement some years ago not long after we got back together as I was adopted aged 4 (very long story). So ive ordered a DNA kit, my sister, thinks im bluffing and tries to change her story that its not ME its HER whos dad is different (youve only got to look at the photos of the 3 of us to know he is our dad).
Its her birthday, I make damned sure I have her new address in time and get her a card in good time. My birthday comes, nothing no card no text no email.
A meesage of thanks to all my FREINDS on facebook resulted in a message from her saying "Obviously you didnt get the 2 cards I posted" no Happy Birthday message in that either. Monday has come and so has the post and still no card despite all the others getting here in time.

NOW they expect me to rock up at my dads on the 9th 10th and 11th to exchange xmas gifts that I havent even had time or money to go and get yet, not to mention I dont have the fuel money to travel 100 miles each way to do this, No questions of is it convenient for me etc just "This is what we are doing"
What my sister doesnt realise is that IF (and I hope I can) get up to my dads, I will be taking the DNA kit with me and insisting it be done as its put doubts in my mind and I want the bull**** to stop. All very well but I know my dad will hit the roof in a BIG way so im expecting trouble from that too. I dont care, Ive had enough! I lve my sister dearly but I hate who she is and the sort of person she is.

The Girl that lives above us, noisy isnt the word, laminate flooring and she cant walk through her flat withot sounding like a herd of elephants, mutual talks resulted in nothing so I went through the council, they spoke to her about it and she denies ever having spoken with me about noise issues, so the mandatory diaries are kept, she gets a letter after a visit from the noise officer, turns out she has carpetted the living room but still has laminate in the bedrooms, resulting in her being banned from allowing her children to play in the bedrooms due to the sheer amount of noise it produces, mediation calls us, I tell them things have quietened down and we dont need it, now the noise has started back up so mediation have been called and we have our first meeting on the 5th december.
Yesterday our new neighbours knock on the door to say hello and ask a few questions about the area, they then "warn" us that they like their music LOUD but if its too much then knock on their door?? WTF?? HAVE A BIT OF CONSIDERATION!

So today I think to hell with it, im going out, so I take my wife and daughter into town for a spot of window shopping to get some ideas for xmas gifts, we have a pram and the amount of people that just walked into us or the pram because WE were in the way drove me mad.

So now we are home, ive reached breaking point, im ready to explode.
6:30pm as per usual we put my 10 month old daughter to bed, low and behold bang bangbang from upstairs, now my duaghter wont sleep and is now in the living room in her bouncy chair in the hope that she will drop off.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!
Oooh Simon...families and neighbours, two of the worst things to get people going! I usually turn to chocolate but I'm hoping that putting it all in writing may well have helped. Really hope you are able to get things sorted out with your family and that the inconsiderate neighbours (why do people behave like that?) learn a bit of common decency.

Take care, Bell
Chocolate makes me sick, the beer has calmed me, a little, for now!
Families can be the pits Simon (((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))

ps if a mind turns up but it's not yours, can you check if it's mine please.
Simon....here's my advice for what its worth!

WARN new neighbours that your 10 month old daughter gets really ar@@y when she's woken from her slumber and tends to go walkabout and shed her nappy at offending noisy front doors ....
... strap a warning/hazard notice to the outside of the pram ... erm maybe "projectile vomiting" would work and to back it up have a water pistol handy... Image Image

But seriously, I think the only reason your sister would have lied to you is because she's not too proud of her actions - its a bit difficult to judge when you're looking from the outside of her relationship, maybe there's more going on than you know, but I would doubt she meant to hurt your feelings or jeapardise your relationship with her.

Sending all three of you hugs and fingers crossed for a peaceful night's sleep
Having re-read your post, maybe you sister is lashing out at you because she's hurting and you're the closest/safest person - not nice but a backhanded compliment Image

I hope everything gets sorted out soon Simon so you can all enjoy a good Christmas.
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am really sorry you are having this crappy time. The mood you are in I think the best thing you can do regarding xmas is stay put, have a nice little family time with your musses and child and possibly have friends around. Then when you have the money go to your dad and calmly explain why you want the dna done.

Regarding your noisy upstairs...you can't stop kids playing in their bedrooms, no matter how hard a person trys it will happen, they are children not robots. Is this family on benefits? perhaps at mediation then you could mention the dss will provide floor covering money or they coud get a loan for some.

Regarding your new musical firends the noise level by law has to be below a certain decabel....believe me if you ring the police about that enough times they will eventually get fed up of being called out and take the offending player away. When they do play, record it. You might need it if the council convicts

as for the pushchair thing...I seriously lost my rag about that issue when my olderones were younger it really naffs (being polite here) when people don't show a mediocum of comman sense and good manners to move aside for a pushchair or pram
as for the pushchair thing...I seriously lost my rag about that issue when my olderones were younger it really naffs (being polite here) when people don't show a mediocum of comman sense and good manners to move aside for a pushchair or pram
When my kids were small, I was in a charity shop and had moved a couple of foot away from pram in order not to block the shop up and look at a rack, turned to check on kids and some stranger was moving my pram!!! I nearly linched them but managed to say in a loud voice "how rude people are here and how dare they touch my children!" offending person quickly exited shop.
as for the pushchair thing...I seriously lost my rag about that issue when my olderones were younger it really naffs (being polite here) when people don't show a mediocum of comman sense and good manners to move aside for a pushchair or pram
When my kids were small, I was in a charity shop and had moved a couple of foot away from pram in order not to block the shop up and look at a rack, turned to check on kids and some stranger was moving my pram!!! I nearly linched them but managed to say in a loud voice "how rude people are here and how dare they touch my children!" offending person quickly exited shop.
That happened to me in the post office once when Rebecca was about 6 months old..I was livid...
Simon, I can see why you were ready to explode, I don't have any advice I'm sorry, but I really hope things get sorted for you soon and that the 3 of you can have a peaceful time.