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Carers UK Forum • I stopped caring & haven't heard from my mum since
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I stopped caring & haven't heard from my mum since

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:17 pm
by marge
I posted here a couple of months ago that I wasn't coping looking after my mum.

Since my last post, she became more nasty as each day went on.
She became aggressive one night and smashed glasses, stood up with no problem from her wheel chair and threw things at me while I was holding my baby boy.

That was the last straw for me. I got social work and extra carers in place. I told her I wouldn't do anything anymore because everything was critisized and not good enough. Even when in hospital she would become angry and tell me to leave and never come back.

I haven't heard from her, I'm still popping back in to pick things up as we've moved out but she hasn't spoken. Or asked how her grandson is. I guess I just need to realise I'm not important to her and good enough. I'm better off without her though.

If you would be happier not caring, it's ok to stop. Put yourself and your family first. You don't deserve daily abuse by someone who should love and apprieciate you.

Re: I stopped caring & haven't heard from my mum since

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 7:11 am
by bowlingbun
Marge, your baby comes first. Build a new, happy life, and look forward, not back. You did the right thing.

Re: I stopped caring & haven't heard from my mum since

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:26 am
by marge
Thanks bowlingbun.

I know I've made the right decision, it's just hard to be rejected by her so will take time to heal. I won't get an apology and she can't take back what she's said or done. The social services can't pay for long term carers 4 times a day so I hope at the least she realises how much I done for her

Re: I stopped caring & haven't heard from my mum since

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:47 am
by bowlingbun
Social Services must first do a Needs Assessment, then a financial assessment. If mum only has modest savings SSD must provide the care she needs. Not your problem now. Just keep reminding youself tha. It takes time and practice though.