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"I am a Carer" - Carers UK Forum

"I am a Carer"

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
If people ask what you do, do you say "I'm a carer?" I did once and it was assumed I was a professional carer that got paid for the job. When I put them right, I might as well have been an unemployed low life. So how do you answer that one then? Image
Post deleted
Due to other care boards making a mockery out of someone
who respects thier carees wishes
that they do wish to suffer any more intimidation for haveing a mental health disability.
A couple of weeks ago, we opened an account in a building society for our son's direct payments, I was asked my occupation,and said "Unpaid Carer for my husband and son", which she wrote down on the computer, although had to override the system, as that wasn't an option.

Later on, as she was filling in more,it suddenly clicked with her what this was all about with direct payments, and she said"so does that mean you won't be getting paid to do this work, instead of the social services, as it seems like it should be their work?!"Wouldn't it be nice if they paid us Carers to do the paperwork?

I now say that I am an unpaid Carer, and a former nurse.I didn't used to,but I hate saying that we have to live on benefits.I find it very humiliating.I become very defensive about my life, and end up saying"we paid our way as long as we could, and I carried on working for as long as I was able".
"I am a law student and care for my fiance full time who suffers with CF"

That's normally the length of the conversation as that person gets uncomfortable and walks off.
I always say proudly, I'm a Carer and if they don't get it tough luck, they aint worth it! Image

I learned how to be proud and confident about being a 'Carer' (note the capital C!!) from Hugh Marriotts book and it changed my life!
My only regret is I didn't find his book sooner as it'd have saved me years of mentally beating myself up every time people I hadn't met for years, asked me what I was doing workwise. Image

When you are confident and proclaim it, as if it's the most worthwhile thing anyone could ever do, people have a different attitude to when you mumble it and have no confidence! Image

I don't know why it is that way but it is!! Image

Honestly if you haven't read it, get someone to buy you it for Christmas!

Or book it out at your local library, personally I'm glad I bought it as during awful times I keep dipping into it again! Image

It's currently £6.99 at Amazon!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h ... &x=16&y=18

People used to ask me if I knew him personally as I raved about it so much! Image

It makes you look at caring in a whole different light, well it did for me!

marie x
Me too - I am in the same position to Tonyd.
But I wish I could be open to say what I do...
I guess that I was lucky in one way as I was 64 when I started Caring 24/7. People just said "Oh well you will be retiring soon anyway." Then always the same question. " Are you getting any help? Doesn't the government pay for it. Surely you can get some respite, there are places she can go to you know?" Image Folks just have no idea unless it has happened to them. Besides, she's my wife, the love of my life! I couldn't just pack her off to some place out of site and mind. It just isn't my way. I'm a big softie and I'm proud to be her Carer.

So, if anyone asks "What are you doing now Pete?" I tell em straight. "I'm a full time Carer to my wife." and I say it as if I'm a very important person. As indeed I am to my Jill. They usually just smile sympathetically, nod and change the subject. Who Cares? We do and with pride! Image

Pete
I've always said "I am a carer for my autistic son." But I can understand that the situation can be different for those whose caree is uncomfortable with the phrase: especially where mental health issues are concerned.

Then it's more important to respect their wishes than to ride roughshod over them, in my book that's the difference between a carer and someone who doesn't. And to criticise others for respecting those wishes is yet another new low in a long series of lows.
In 1997 STAN & the old doll had invite to Mrs QUEEN`S garden party this was the year i gave up work to look after the 2 of them when in London i escorted them into Buck House and was called their bodyguard( not wheelchair pusher person) it got me in without invite . Image

when i fill forms out i say iam a P.A. Image
[quote]I've always said "I am a carer for my autistic son." But I can understand that the situation can be different for those whose caree is uncomfortable with the phrase]

exactly Charles, the most important person is the caree and if they have certain wishes then as Carers it's our job to respect those wishes. If people are going to criticise those for respecting their carees wishes then we're living in a sad world.