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Husband won't obey nurses - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Husband won't obey nurses

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Helena, I have mild cellulitis at the moment and have had it badly in the past. I have not yet had IV antibiotics but after 7 weeks on oral antibiotics and repeated instances, and lymphoedema in the legs, I think IV antibiotics are definitely the way to go.

Actually in our district I was told the district nurses can administer them at home, but it turns out that they only do that as a follow-up to hospital treatment. I think you should press for hospital treatment. Why has it not been done yet? Perhaps because of NHS bottlenecks? My situation is quite trivial, but every instance of cellulitis makes it more likely to come back in the future.

I don't really want to go to hospital because I have to put the cat in a cattery, but from everything I've read it seems IV is the way to go. Or are there other reasons why your husband's leg problems are so severe that IV ABs wouldn't cure them?
Well Greta the GP when we saw her last week did not think he has cellulitis anymore - the redness can apparently stay for several weeks.

So the answer is that I do not know what is causing the blisters/swelling. But the nurse yesterday said we were to liaise with them if we were worried and they would tell us if he needed to see a GP which frankly is reassuring as I have no medical training.

I do hope your cellulitis improves Greta. I think he may have been taken into hospital when it flared up late Feb but they had an outbreak of norovirus at the hospital, which I think is why we got the Duty Doctor and daily visits for a few days - he did say if it got worse/ did not respond it would have to be hospital. Actually if his legs did go red now, I would not be able to see with the bandages! Have you any idea how long the stay in hospital is likely to be? I suppose it depends on the individual response rate? The Duty GP did say that older people did not 'thrive' in a hospital environment so that was why they liked
them nursed by 'family' at home. Only problem is husband only has me,and no one asked me how I felt about this. The honest answer when he was at his worst was frightened. But the nurses were very good and said I could phone the number 24/7 if I needed help or advice. But yes it is cheaper to have someone nursed at home by 'family' probably than take them into hospital. But I do think the cause of this oedema/blistering needs to be addressed. I will discuss with Dermo because I need him to write to GP telling them it is NOT psoriasis.

But at the moment, I do feel he is getting good care from the nurses and if he goes downhill, then I can ask them what they think.
It's true the red colour can stay. So if he were going into hospital for IV antibiotics for cellulitis, I would suspect (but don't know) only a few days, but since he isn't, I can't offer any opinion at all as to how long he might be in hospital. My cellulitis is very mild but persistent, but nothing to worry about too much. It's just that I need compression stockings but I can't wear them as long as the cellulitis is there - a vicious circle. I'm not an expert on this, it's just that I know what it's like to have cellulitis.

I can't remember what treatment your husband is actually getting in hospital. I do remember that when my brother went into hospital, the carers after he came out would say his skin was in a bad condition, because no one in the hospital thought about creaming it. And so in many ways it may be better to be at home. Hospitals are also not suitable for disabled people! But from what I remember of your problems with your husband, you need a break yourself. It's all very well the GP recommending family care, but what about the opinions of the family, i.e. you?
Well senior nurse has been out and says the legs need dressing 2x a week so they will come Friday and then Monday and Friday the following week. She did not think the legs are infected. Husband not used to wearing socks so going to be a nightmare getting him to keep dressings on. However she did say that he could have a bath if we tied clingfilm round the bandages or even plastic bags - ironically my neighbour who used to manage a small Care Agency said the same thing earlier today. So hopefully he will be able to have a quick bath tomorrow .

I do feel having nurses twice a week will help me as if I am worried, I can at least ask them to check for infection. I will talk to his Dermo Consultant on 8th and see what he thinks and hopefully he will be able to see the legs unless they are still bandaged. The nurse did say if things got really bad we could phone them on the 24/7 number and they would come out over a weekend as an emergency but I would rather not do that.

I am not sure what to do about the Cataract operation but when I get the paperwork through I may discuss with the nurse - it is the 3rd May and his sight has worsened so I do not want to postpone unless I have.

So hopefully things will get easier providing he stops fiddling with the dressings and accept that they will feel a little tight/uncomfortable for the next few days until the skin starts to dry out and heal.

Thanks everyone - good advice as always. Still a challenge though as still not had lactulose or had the Cavilon on his pressure sore! But will keep trying although now I guess he won't have the lactulose due to going out for his birthday lunch!
jenny lucas wrote:
Wed Apr 18, 2018 9:19 am
Helena - re the cats 'thieving' - have you ever seen that You Tube clip of the cat who raided the neighbour's washing lines? It came home with loads of socks and knickers! The cat's owners (if there is ever such a thing as 'owning' a cat!!!!) had to return them all, and it was tricky to know where they all came from!
We had a dog a long time ago, he was one of a litter that my Mum's dog had, a Boxer. A girl that worked with my wife had another of the litter, this dog, (bitch actually) was sat in the kitchen of their ground floor flat one day whilst the owner was busy with something for a while and just checking on the dog every now and again. Everything seemed fine, until a couple of hours later she discovered her neighbours collection of garden gnomes spread all around her lounge, there were about 15 in total. :lol:
Hi Helena, My Husband's had IV antibiotics in hospital several times for cellulitis, always been for a week. Once the DN finished the course at home, I think for last two days, but not keen to do it. My husband is 84 & I'm 55, so similar to your situation, I always feel my Husband thinks he knows best because he's older than me? Having said that he's got better recently as he knows how much he needs me, still very stubborn & unreasonable at times!!
Thanks Linda. I do feel for you and agree the age difference makes it hard. I guess if someone has been in a 'position of authority' it is hard to feel the loss of control that does come with illness and aging? Glad things have improved a little for you. I think my husband has always been difficult. But yes, in many ways, I do think hospital would have been a lot better if he had agreed to go, as it would have given me a few days break.

Why do you think your husband became easier to deal with?

Getting him bathed is going to be a challenge as he says he wants to put BOTH legs into ONE black bag in the bath. I have suggested a black bag on each leg . I shall not co-operate if he insists on doing it his way, as frankly it is mega dangerous as he is very doddery anyway. But if an accident happens, then I will know I have done my best to avert it but I will not put myself in physical danger if he decides to lash out or expect me to help him out of the bath - I am 5ft 5 and 7st so he could easily push me over.
Hello Helena, I think your husband trying to have a bath is a very bad idea & it would be easy for you to get hurt trying to help him. The limbo leg covers were good for me when I used in shower but not suitable for bath & I don't think blacks bags will be very reliable. If your Husband puts a bag on before he gets in the bath he will be unsteady to say the least!!
I think my Husband became a bit easier to deal with because he understands at last, that I am his only source of care, he is now in a wheelchair and without me he would be lost. We have been married for 33 years but together since I was 17, we have had some good times, mostly when we were farming/working together, this time now is hard, but it will pass!!
Best wishes and good luck.
Alexander, I just hope the gnomes were plastic! Surely the dog couldn't have lugged stone ones that far?!!!! Did the neighbour not notice the thieving??!!!!

At least the dog didn't try and bury them all, like bones!!!! :)
Unfortunately Linda husband would NOT agree to a shower when I had his bathroom done out last year - I and a friend really tried. The guy who did it is the husband of my close cat breeder friend so they knew the problems. It is his birthday and he has not had a bath since Monday....wish me luck. But no, I won't risk my own safety and at the risk of sounding harsh, if he chooses to go against advice and falls, as he has 'mental capacity' and has to live with the consequences. But I did ask the senior nurses' advice and it was she who suggested the black bags as did my lovely neighbour. I cannot physically stop him having a bath - all I can do is try to make it as safe for him as possible.

Thanks Alexander and Jenny for making me laugh! My little late rescue moggie Slenderella had a fixation with jewellery. I took my engagement ring off to clean it and it went missing - I found her walking round with it in her mouth.Earrings were a favorite too and I was terrified she would swallow one or remove a stone and swallow that. On the plus side, it at least meant that I had to become tidier when it came to putting my things away!!!! I still wonder where my amethyst ring got to when I lost it several years ago but I guess I will never know. Cats are such characters aren't they? .