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Husband can't come home from hospital - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

Husband can't come home from hospital

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Oh well, sounds like he's in the best place - and will be in hospital for a bit longer.

The OT sounds a nightmare, I hope she hasn't been giving your husband false hope.

Melly1
They could redesign the whole house BUT at the moment he needs a TEAM of carers 24/7. Changing the house isn't going to do this! I suggest that you ring Social Services that before any further discussion they arrange a "2014 Care Act Advocate" so that your voice,as carer, can be heard. No one seems to be concerned about your welfare or opinion at the moment. If they say they can't do that, it's not true. I have one for all meetings, when they started telling me one thing and writing something different in their records!!!!
I think it's a cheek, the suggestion of knocking walls down!! It's your home too. Does she realise the chaos it causes? Brick dust is horrid to get rid of for a start. Occupational therapists are not architects!! Even the suggestion is adding extra stress and anxiety to you and very wrong.
Thank you, Melly, Bowlingbun and Pet. It's a great relief o be able to come on here and vent!

I don't think this particular OT has seen my husband - she's from "Care and Repair", part of the local council. I think she's in cloud cuckoo land, if she thinks we're going to be able to move walls. For a start, we live in a housing association property and I can't see them agreeing to knocking the house about! But the hospital have referred him to them, so I suppose she has to be seen to be doing something.

I'll look into the Advocate thing - I tried looking it up today, but I've had difficult phone calls with him again, so I've not been able to take anything in.

He's been particularly bad today - he's always more nasty when he has an infection - at one point I hung up on him because he was blaming me for his situation and telling me I don't care, etc, etc. He's still saying he won't go to rehab and if they "come for him", he'll ring the police. It's really got me down today
There's a lot of people working in positions such as that who have absolutely no idea (or interest, I'd say) of what caring involves.

During a wheelchair appointment (to assess the Pressure cushion) we spoke of other things and the girly came out with:- "You're not supposed to be in the wheelchair all day"

She seemed to think that I should hoist my wife from the wheelchair to an armchair and back and forth several times a day - the increased number of transfers involved would have trebled the time that I already spend hoisting my wife daily, from 40 minutes to two hours!
You do not have to let her in. First he has to be fit for discharge, which he isn't. Then there should be a Continuing Healthcare Assessment, involving you. Then they should decide how much care he needs for daily living. Normally, major building works come under the Disability Facilities Grant scheme. Care and Repair do minor works. Time for you to make a few lists, starting with the care you know he needs.
Ayjay, you're so right! They have a set idea of what can "help", but they don't think through all the practicalities. Quite apart from the additional length of time it would take you to hoist your wife, they should consider the effect it would have on her (I'm guessing it's not exactly comfortable for her) and on you.
Bowlingbun, I'm not stressing about the OT visit, because what she's suggesting would be out of the question for several reasons: I'm pretty certain the housing association wouldn't agree; there would inevitably be a financial assessment and we would be expected to contribute significantly to the cost, which we couldn't do (we always come out as just above the level for support, but that doesn't mean we have a lot of spare money!); I really don't think I could contemplate the upheaval.

I've started the list!
Don't forget to list any health issues you have too, especially blood pressure. If you haven't got one already, it might be worth getting your own BP monitor. Mine cost about £25.
Yes, I'll do that. I have type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnoea, arthritis and back pain (which my doctor reckons was caused by my attempts to move/lift my husband over the first years of his disability).