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Husband can't come home from hospital - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Husband can't come home from hospital

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I know it is very hard, but please try not to engage with the conversations with your husband. He is obviously very confused and rambling. The hospital must know this. When my husband was in hospital, after strokes, and had delirium, after yet another very upsetting call ( accusations) I decided next time I would say bye bye, and switch the phones to silent. I did, because I was at breaking point. I felt just awful at doing so, but the nurse adviced it me it was in my best interest. You must give yourself breathing space. Sadly, your husband doesn't sound as though he has capacity. This will be taken into account.
Hi Jackie,
I agree with Pet. For your own sanity, follow her advice. Do not engage with him about it. Let the hospital sort this out.

Thanks, Pet and Melly.

Today is our 47th wedding anniversary. I'd left a card for him over the weekend and I phoned him this morning to wish him happy anniversary. He seemed a little bit brighter, but said he hadn't seen anyone yet. Around half an hour ago, he phoned me and asked how many years we'd been married. When I told him he said, in a very tearful voice, "Don't you think it's time we turned those 47 into love, not hate?" then he hung up. I haven't phoned him back; I really don't feel I can keep trying to be "nice" all the time.
What a horrible thing for him to say, easier to blame you than accept responsibility for his situation.
Had a phone call from the hospital earlier this evening - he's been vomiting "coffee grounds" (blood) and has been complaining of chest pains. They think the chest pains were probably indigestion, but they've made him nil by mouth and taken bloods for testing and they're keeping a close eye on him overnight. I've spoken to him and he says he's been feeling bad all day and is still feeling sick. He really didn't need anything else!
Oh Jackie,

sorry to hear this. No he didn't need anything else to go wrong for him, nor anything else for you to worry about.

In that case he's not fit for discharge anywhere is he?! This happened to mum in hospital and they put a camera down to see what was going on. Hospital had totally ignored me until this happened, then all of a sudden doctor wanted to talk to me asap!
The doctor saw my husband this morning and they've decided that yesterday's symptoms were a stomach upset and he's been prescribed medication. He phoned me this morning, saying he was desperate for some clean shirts. I was a bit surprised, as I thought they were keeping him in hospital gowns. Anyway, I phoned the ward and they said I could go as far as the door to the ward and they would exchange clean clothes for dirty ones. When I arrived, the little staff nurse asked if I'd like to see him, just for 2 minutes, so I was allowed to go to the edge of the bay to see him. I don't know what I was expecting, but he looked better than he's looked for some time. His speech was also clearer than it ever is on the phone and he was making more sense. Admittedly, I was only there for 2 minutes and I guess he was taken by surprise, but it has made me wonder how much he's putting it on when he phones - isn't that awful? Also, as it turned out, I needn't have taken him any clothes, as he is still in hospital gowns and the only dirty clothes I brought home were one pair of pants, one shirt and one pair of trousers. I think he now has more clothes at the hospital than he has at home!

He phoned me soon after I arrived back home and it was back to the vague, slightly slurred speech and long pauses. He said, "You've got to let me come home" and, as soon as I started to speak, he hung up.

Later this afternoon, the little staff nurse I'd seen at the hospital phoned to tell me that they've found him a rehab bed and they'll be transferring him on Saturday. It's in a community hospital 40 miles away. I don't think they can have told him yet, as I haven't had a phone call from him yet!
Spoke too soon! He's just phoned. Didn't mention rehab, but said he's still feeling very rough, still having chest pains and is very breathless. I was a bit concerned about the breathlessness, so I've phoned the ward and spoken to the nurse who's looking after him tonight. He (the nurse) says he's doing regular obs and they're OK, and he's stable. He did say that he's still muddled and forgets things very quickly and he asked me if I'd noticed that. (Have I ever???) Anyway, he said he'll keep an eye on him and if there's any change or anything else happens he'll phone me back.
The saga continues. He won't be going into rehab tomorrow, as he's got another infection and they've put him back on IV antibiotics. Don't know what this infection is; the nurse said it wasn't very clear, but the doctor took the bandages off his leg to check it and that suggests to me that it may be another bout of cellulitis. Or it could be a urine infection - apparently they sent a sample off last weekend and it was growing bacteria. So back we go to square one again!

Oh, and the OT for the local council phoned today because the hospital had referred him to her. She's going to come and look at the accommodation (again; she already knows it because she's been out before) with a view to making more space for carers to be able to look after him. She's talking knocking walls down and rebuilding in a different place - I really don't think so!!!