How do dementia carers cope with abusive behaviour?

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More than one third of people caring for relatives with dementia regularly experience some form of abusive behaviour, such as being shouted at or insulted, a new study has found. Although aggressive behaviour is a relatively common symptom of dementia, this is the first study to look at carers' experiences of abuse.

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Interesting reading indeed, Rosemary.

My late mum who was all sweetness and light in her younger days started singing bawdy rugby songs, and swearing like a trooper with her dementia. Often lashed out and dad was regularly on the receiving end of her punches and nips. Not so much me as I could move out of the way faster! I did have to ask OH not to encourage mum to hug me as she used the hug to camoflage the nipping and I have had a few nips infected as her hand hygiene wasn`t all it could be. Her other favourite was "you`ll get my toe up your a**e" and notwithstanding her 80+ age tag she could still aim a direct hit on a passing posterior. In relation to verbal abuse I soon learned just to walk away from the situation and on returning even a few minutes later it had been forgotten.

I would like to think that has made me a slightly more tolerant person now.

Take care

I had the same experience slapping kicking and verbal abuse. Like you say we learn to become more tolerant and understanding but I have to question the lack of government interest in providing carers with the right specialist training for dementia care in the community.

It is beyond belief that young carers who acquire NVQ 1 and 2 are properly trained to provide care for people with dementia.

I have just won a three year battle with our local NHS to recognise that the psychological needs of the patient and care should be address when it comes to providing services in the community.
HI, When I found out my mum had vascular dementia I got right on to the internet and read everything I could find on the subject.

My mum did shout and swear sometimes when we went shopping it was embarrassing. She only tried to hit me a couple of weeks before she died but she was too weak to hurt me. I think it made me stronger I expected things to happen and I felt sorry for her what she was going through.

But it hurt my dad more then me she used to give him a dig in the ribs in bed so he would get out of the bed. I used to tell him it was all part of the dementia but he didn’t understand (he was 90)

I used to go out of the room for a few minuets when I came back my mum thought I was someone else. She used to say has the other one gone I don’t like her. I used to laugh and say she’s gone home I‘m looking after you tonight. She was ok then.
Sheila xx