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HOUSE IS A MESS - Carers UK Forum


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I am sure other unpaid carers can identify with this.

It has been years since I did a full spring clean, the house is cluttered with old stuff, old tv, hi fi never managed to go to the tip.
The bedroom has loads of clothes that probably don't fit my any more.
The kitchen has out of date food in the cupboards, was eating at my carees most of the time, just didn't get much chance to cook for myself in my own house.
The bathroom I do try and clean and keep sanitary.
I still have cassette tapes stacked in a cupboard but nothing to play them on.
The curtains haven't been washed for years, need pulling down and new ones fitted.

The whole house needs cleaning top to bottom, redecorating maybe fresh paint.

AS a carer I just haven't had any time to myself let alone time to clean my house, that's part of the Care Act but it was made clear to me time and time again, my caree would not get any more help, left to me and others to supply the extra care needed.

I feel ashamed seeing all this I am intelligent, I am not a slob but I am living in a tip to put some nice words on it.

I kept my carees house spick and span perfect as the council cancelled the cleaning, my caree couldn't do the cleaning was just told to pay for a private cleaner.
I had to help many other carees with cleaning and general upkeep of the house etc, there just is no one to help , the paid carers didn't have time.

What an uncivilised world we live in that unpaid carers have no choice to live like this.

I have no friends to come around and help, lost them through caring all the time, they just sort of drifted away.
I sort of resonate. It has been a while since I have done a full clean of my house. Must do one in the next week or so.
Me too
Mine too. I find it makes my mind quite cluttered when things are really bad!

Could you put a little time aside each week to have a little sort and clean? Even if just an hour or so at a time? Maybe write a list to get it all out of your head. And then try and tick one thing off each week?

You could try the Marie Kondo method where you sort one category of thing at a time? So clothing, books, music, etc. All goes into a big pile and you sort item by item. Asking yourself if the thing is useful and if not does it bring you joy - if it does keep. If not it is gone. Not tried this, but like the idea.

Also maybe stop cleaning your carees home at the expense of yours? I'm not saying stop all together, but perhaps drop the standards there a little bit free up yourself and your own home?

I know it is hard and I agree a sad situation that carers are in this boat.
Our local council also do a larger items tip collection. I think there is a small fee, but that might be a way to sort the TV, HiFi etc? You just book it online and leave the stuff outside the house for collection.
I've found the only way to keep on top of stuff is to sort/clean one room at a time - that's not so daunting as trying to clean the house in one go :shock:

Our local council also collect larger items for a small fee - you can book up to 3 items at a time. Alternatively the British Heart Foundation might take the electricals like TV, high-fi etc. Unfortunately I can't think of anywhere that would take old cassettes - perhaps look online ?

Your other choice regarding general cleaning would be to hire a cleaning company to blitz the whole house but, of course, that comes with a cost attached !
Hi Londonbound
It all takes time, I'm 2 years post careing and have spent the first year getting most rooms decorated and lodgers in. The 2 hidden rooms are my bedroom where things are piled sky high and the office/private lounge which hasn't been gone through in years. I',m concentrating on that this week - finally time to make my own space a nice place to be. Long overdue but I never feature at the top of my list. I've still got brand new fishing waterproofs with tags from the 1970s stored at my feet. The last bits I need to find a home for- no one would wear, hugely expensive at the time of purchase for a family holiday in Scotland in 1976. Strange to be unable to throw them out- museum? still can't think o f a destination for them, so yes they are under my desk! Where else???
I agree it takes time,and money. My husband was always a bit of a hoarder, but when his illness started, he wouldn't throw so much as a rusty nail out. The garage was a danger zone. My first job was forced, as I had a sewerage leak in the garage. So a plumber was called out (recommended by age UK). He was very good, as I ordered a skip, and he threw everything in it that was in the way, and unusable. Was at a cost of course. Over 3 years down the line, I've picked away at jobs, with breaks in between. Have another skip being delivered tomorrow. Still have tons to do, and at times feel overwhelmed, if not careful. Sometimes I tidy a drawer or cupboard, and can feel better for that. Have to push myself.
Admittedly, it's easier for me now, as I don't have to visit hubby. Sadly.
susieq wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:55 am
I've found the only way to keep on top of stuff is to sort/clean one room at a time - that's not so daunting as trying to clean the house in one go :shock:
Agreed! I've not had a completely clean house for YEARS! And to be honest I rarely have time to blitz a whole room, it is just bits at a time! I concentrate on area that might be unhygienic... toilets, basins, work surfaces....
Hello Londonbound,
Thank you so much for sharing your post because there are lots of us (including me!) who are in a similar situation. I have been caring for my mum for nearly 5 years now. To begin with I was full of enthusiasm and not realising what I was taking on. My poor house has been ignored and some of the rooms need decorating plus I have items that are no longer needed and should be thrown away. The garden also needs a new patio. But I just keep putting it off. My mum is unaware that my home needs attention.