Hidden male carers

[rosemary]

Given conventional ideas of male roles, we often tend to imagine carers as being women. But more men take on this “unpaid work” than you might think, and particularly in older groups. Research we’ve carried out shows just how difficult some find it

http://theconversation.com/hidden-male- ... nversation)

[tracie]

Noticed that in care home where inlaw is

[Ollie]

Sussex makes a good point.

When I cared for Mum till she passed away before Christmas, sometimes I would get asked what I did for a living. When I told them I cared for my Mum, I might as well have said I was a leper carrying a bell around shouting "Unclean! Unclean!"

People huh...

[Scally]

Not a problem for me as a Dad , people are totally cool with it.
Mind you, so am I.

[bowlingbun]

When mum in law developed dementia, father in law found it very difficult. Fortunately he found out about the Carers group in his village, who were very supportive. At his funeral at the crematorium, I was surprised how many members came to pay their respects, 20 miles away. I was always seen as the carer for M, but really my husband was major carer for him. The majority of meetings about special needs children take place during the day, and that excludes most men immediately, due to work commitments.

[Scally]

Yes, it appears to be more acceptable if you are looking after a son, or a dad: I think there is still a certain taboo around males caring for females intimately. Have you seen the film Meet the Fockers? Theres a whole string of jibes about male nurses in it, as one of the male characters is a male nurse and his father in law is a CIA 'hard guy'. .

[Violet]

A few days ago someone said to me "Oh it's ok for you looking after your man not like xxx where the man has to look after his wife" . Naturally she never has been, never will be, caring for anyone.

[bradstonian]

Ummm as a male carer myself - caring for my disabled wife for last few years & having worked for 10 years or more in community & hospital - nursing homes as many & made numerous friends passed.

I feel it is an interesting topic - I often feel schools colleges etc should encourage placements in or around such situations : hospitals care homes carers in the community (probably our stomping ground). And encourage more better understanding as to this topic ''hidden male carers'' I had no idea I could do such a job on leaving school ; came across it quite by accident through an agency years ago & felt ''yes I could give something here - contribute understand this caring role & make some difference''.

I think that covers in some way this particular topic - that's one thing I have found about caring - my god does your confidence get bashed to kingdom come - as someone said - people look at you as if your mad - when you say you are a carer - not everyone but enough. It doesn't help that the press media government is currently on a bent of bashing disabled people with the Bedroom Tax Atos PIPS or whatever the latest piece of legislation paper happens to be.

I think above all within families there is definitely a need for better understanding. Where this would come from ''with regard to the topic'' ''the hidden carer'' I have no idea but this site is as good a place as any to start. There must be more that can be said about this - but there is my contribution - :-0

[bowlingbun]

My son with SLD worshipped his dad and really misses him (he died in 2006). I wish that there were more paid male carers, to give good role models for people like M. Proper men who understand engineering, gardening, generally doing "men's stuff". It's the same with male teachers at infant/junior level. We could do with more male role models here too. Caring doesn't have to mean "soft".