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Carers UK Forum • help please
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help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 12:15 pm
by pamr
hi

my 96 year old mother fell and broke her wrist on friday. she has a plaster caste from her elbow to the tips of her fingers.

i have just had a phone call from the OT at the hospital and she says she thinks mum can manage on her own.
when i shared my concerns about her not being able to wash and dress herself etc. she said she will have a word with the nursing staff about how mum is coping and they would let me know.

what do i do. in my honest opinion i think she will need carers visiting at home to help her wash and dress etc. but if they say she is ok to do those things, what can i do. or do i have to do the 24 hr. care.

pam

Re: help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 12:49 pm
by no1mum
Make sure a care plan is in place before your Mum leaves hospital.

Re: help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 4:00 pm
by charles47
No1mum is absolutely right. Make it clear that your mum will need a care package and you cannot provide the additional support - you've got more than you can handle as it is. In any case, I would be asking about the risk factor of sending home a 96 year old who had a fall: what caused the fall in the first place, what are the risks of another, and the potential for hip fractures, what about the after effects of a fall like that on a 96 year old?

Re: help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 4:50 pm
by Lazydaisy
I agree with the above. One thing more though, if they insist they will send her home, stand your ground and tell them you will not take her there, they will have to provide transport.The way it used to work(probably still does),is that the minute she is discharged into your care,you are taking the responsibility for your Mum.
I hope you don't mind me saying either, that if your Mum is 96, then you are not young and fit and able to provide ongoing constant care for your Mum.
Good luck.

Re: help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 8:07 pm
by pixienubbins
stand your ground m8
u know wot your mum needs better than some one sitting at a desk

b nice if we ddnt have to fight for things all the time wouldnt it!

Re: help please

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 10:46 pm
by susieq
Stand your ground Pam and don't let them discharge your Mum until a proper care package is in place.

When mine had a fall and broke 4 back ribs back in 2009 I had to insist that she not come home until a plan was sorted out and in place. We eventually had some additional aids from the OT's and care assistants coming in each day to help her get up, washed and dressed (they were from the SS Enablement Team and came for 6 weeks after her discharge from hospital).

I did actually move in with Mum as she came out of hospital which is why we only had them in the morning, but if Mum had been coming back to living on her own they would have provided assitance 3 times a day.

Re: help please

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:02 am
by pamr
thank you all so much for your advice.

they say they are going to do an assessment on her today, so i will be sitting by the telephone.

it was awful when i visited her yesterday. she has developed an urine infection so was completely confused. she did recognise me, but apart from that she was continusly telling all the other ill ladies in the ward that she wanted to go home. she was crying and said all sorts of strange things to me, none of which made any sense. now this is not like my mum, she is usually very much 'with it', so was very upsetting. i just wanted to scoop her up and bring her home, but i know that would not have been the right thing. she is on antibiotics so i hope they work.

it was great to come on here and get some advice. i know i have to be strong.

pam

Re: help please

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:51 am
by lynne whalley
hi two years ago mum fell and broke her pelvis and arm and they wanted to send her home day after but the nurses said dont worry its not just upto the doctors the nurses are good if you voice your concerns mum ended up going into a care home initially for two weeks to heal but sadly she ended up in residential for 12 months due to other factors but is now back with me but dont worry there are people there to listen lynne

Re: help please

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:55 am
by lynne whalley
sorry just read last post urine infections in the elderly are very very common in hospital i had some very scary visits where mum would ask me who the person sat on end of bed was and it was a curtain i am reading your posts and thinking if i had had carers uk then i would of had someone to talk to as it was a very lonely frightening time good luck lynne

Re: help please

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 9:39 am
by rosemary
or do i have to do the 24 hr. care.

pam
Simple answer Pam is No but like the others have said it needs you to be able to stand your ground. You have so much to cope with already no way can you take this on 24/7.

No matter what the assessment outcome if you still dont agree with it, have your say.

Might be some info of use here Pam

Keep us posted

x x x