[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Help needed urgent -Carers UK Forum

Help needed urgent

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hello i care for my mom and also work but at the momant my mom needs me at home due to extreme sickness making her very tired and unsteady on her feet. My dr has offeded me a note for work for stress but i am worried they will not pay me as i have had to have three months of this year due to myself being ill.
So i am concerned that i won't get sick pay and if i do it won't be enough to cover my bills and the board my mom relies on each month off me. I am unable to claim caeres allowance as it means they will stop my moms pension credit i am so worried about my mom that i can't focus at work any way i work with adults with learning disabilites and challenging behavior. The company are aware i am my mom's carer and do know that her sickness is very bad but i am worried i will be disapined and lose my job if go off sick or take unpaied leave which i can not afford to do.
I suggest that you contact the Carers UK Adviceline team as they are the experts on all matters related to caring and benefits.
Need expert advice? You can talk to the Carers UK Adviceline five days a week, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.

Freephone: 0808 808 7777
email: advice@carersuk.org

Carers UK’s advice and information team based in London is undergoing staff changes. This means the Adviceline is closed on Thursdays and Fridays whilst we recruit and train new members of staff. We will be taking calls on Monday – Wednesday between 10am and 4pm. . You can email or write to the Adviceline and we will respond to your enquiries within five working days.

The Carers UK Adviceline also includes a listening service, there for you to talk through your caring situation with a trained volunteer who understands what you are going through. Available Mondays and Tuesdays, from 10am to 4pm.

If you can’t get through on the phones (lines are often oversubscribed) then send them an email, they’ll usually get back to you within 3-5 working days.
Hi Donna,
Welcome to the forum.
Your mum should have a Needs Assessment from Social Services and then she can have carers to help her when you are at work.
From what you describe, mum should also be entitled to some disability benefits. As she is over 65 that would be Attendance Allowance, which she would need to claim before you could claim Carers Allowance.
It's really important that you keep working if possible, to protect your own pension rights.
Can I ask what is wrong with mum?
Is your mum's sickness now likely to be temporary? ie, will she get better? Or is this now a permanent state of affairs, or even if she does improve, it wont' be back to what she was before?

The grim thing about looking after the elderly is that increasingly 'things go wrong' (until, finally, of course, nature finally takes its course), and at some point you will have to decide whether to bite the bullet, and give over your life to looking after your mum either through to the end, or if she goes into a care/nursing home until the end (which could be years and years).
,
Or else to decide now that whatever happens, you can't give up your own life, your own work, and instead either have outside care-workers come in, or your mum has to go into residential care.

It's sad, desperately so, and we all hope that it won't come to it, that our elderly parents will remain 'well enough' for a good long while, and then, when the end comes, that it comes 'quickly and easily'.....but, alas, life is seldom so kind to us (or them.)

Trying to bridge both worlds - working and caring - is likely to become impossible without external help, or 'giving in' entirely, and your mum going into a home (this is what I had to do with my poor 90 y.o MIL when she could no longer cope at all on her own, and simply needed fulltime care.

Wishing you as best as possible in such a difficult situation - I do think the main question now is 'will mum get better so I can get back to work the way I used to, or has she deteroriated permeanently, and I have to look at othe options.'

I'm afraid I do agree with BB that's it's really important for YOU to keep up with paying into your state pension by working, because one day YOU will be the 'elderly person' and if you give up work now to take on your mum's total care, you could be condemning yourself to a poverty-stricken future (ie, even more so than pensioners get!)