I Live with my 83 year old Mum in her own house and have been looking after her for two years now, as a full time carer. I do almost everything for Mum as she can no longer do anything for herself. The only thing I don't provide is personal care, for which we have a carer come in from an agency, every day. Twice a week to give Mum a shower and help her get dressed, and the rest of the week to give Mum a wash in her bedroom, before dressing. Mum has dementia, arthritis, a heart murmur, low blood pressure (causing severe bouts of dizziness at times) . She has some mobility and gets about the house using a walking frame, but can't manage stairs. Recently her physical condition has deteriorated, and she has been sleeping during the day much more than usual. She has also had an ongoing struggle with UTI's that never seem to clear up.
I have power of attorney along with one of my sisters, Julie. Eleven days ago, Julie arranged with my consent for mum to spend 2 weeks in a residential care home. The idea being to help Mum acquaint herself with the place that may become her home in the future, and to give me a short break from the responsibility of mum's welfare.
Within four days Mum was taken ill. She felt very dizzy and weak, and it was determined that she had a UTI and was put on antibiotics. I was given assurances from Julie that Mum was being well looked after, but having visited Mum six times myself over seven days, I have not found this to be the case. Because of Mum's condition she needs to be prompted to drink, and with a UTI this is vitally important. Each time I have visited Mum I found her alone and unattended. Twice with hot drinks left to go cold beside her, and once with a breakfast tray still in her lap at 11 o' clock. Mum's ankles and feet are also swollen as they are not ensuring she keeps them raised when necessary, as I do at home. When Mum needs the toilet she is left waiting, five minutes on one occasion. I also found her call button left out of sight and reach on one visit. Julie was told that Mum is checked on every couple of hours. It is my opinion that Mum is not getting the care she requires, as this is a residential care home and not a nursing home.
Within a week of mum being there, Julie informed me that she wants Mum to stay in the care home and not return to her own home. This was completely unexpected and came as a great shock to me. Julie has since convinced two more of my sister's that Mum should not return home. Only my 4th sister, Tricia, wants Mum back home and not committed to a care home.
I feel under great pressure to agree with my sisters, because the care home have said that the room Mum is in could be hers permanently, but we have to agree quickly as they say the room may not be available in the future. I feel I could continue to take care of Mum, with the correct care package in place, but my sisters are not interested in this option. I really don't know what to do.
Also, I'm now faced with the prospect of becoming homeless and I have less than £1,200 in savings, which is very worrying. I would greatly appreciate any advice or information you may have, regarding re-housing carers who have no assets.
Thank you very much.
Phill.
I have power of attorney along with one of my sisters, Julie. Eleven days ago, Julie arranged with my consent for mum to spend 2 weeks in a residential care home. The idea being to help Mum acquaint herself with the place that may become her home in the future, and to give me a short break from the responsibility of mum's welfare.
Within four days Mum was taken ill. She felt very dizzy and weak, and it was determined that she had a UTI and was put on antibiotics. I was given assurances from Julie that Mum was being well looked after, but having visited Mum six times myself over seven days, I have not found this to be the case. Because of Mum's condition she needs to be prompted to drink, and with a UTI this is vitally important. Each time I have visited Mum I found her alone and unattended. Twice with hot drinks left to go cold beside her, and once with a breakfast tray still in her lap at 11 o' clock. Mum's ankles and feet are also swollen as they are not ensuring she keeps them raised when necessary, as I do at home. When Mum needs the toilet she is left waiting, five minutes on one occasion. I also found her call button left out of sight and reach on one visit. Julie was told that Mum is checked on every couple of hours. It is my opinion that Mum is not getting the care she requires, as this is a residential care home and not a nursing home.
Within a week of mum being there, Julie informed me that she wants Mum to stay in the care home and not return to her own home. This was completely unexpected and came as a great shock to me. Julie has since convinced two more of my sister's that Mum should not return home. Only my 4th sister, Tricia, wants Mum back home and not committed to a care home.
I feel under great pressure to agree with my sisters, because the care home have said that the room Mum is in could be hers permanently, but we have to agree quickly as they say the room may not be available in the future. I feel I could continue to take care of Mum, with the correct care package in place, but my sisters are not interested in this option. I really don't know what to do.
Also, I'm now faced with the prospect of becoming homeless and I have less than £1,200 in savings, which is very worrying. I would greatly appreciate any advice or information you may have, regarding re-housing carers who have no assets.
Thank you very much.
Phill.