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Help/Advice needed desperately... - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Help/Advice needed desperately...

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Dear Carolina,

My heart went out to you and your mum when I read your initial post. It's a terrible time you've both been having.

I know pain relief is tiered and doctors tend to be very reluctant to prescribe anything other than paracetamol unless it's a severe condition, especially in hospital. I'm not really convinced that going via A&E will be the solution to the pain problems. Unless you can see another GP in the practice however, you might have no choice. The next step up from tramadol would be morphine I believe and it is very difficult to get this prescribed but you could ask about morphine patches instead of the tablets as they are slow relief acting. Ideally, you'd get mum see quicker in the Pain Clinic but it must be very difficult as everyone probably wants to be seen urgently there.

However, definitely contacting Social Services duty service is a very good idea - they have to get you extra help as a matter of urgency.

I'm really sorry for the situation you are both in and I really, really hope you get some good news. Unfortunately, health professionals act on the basis that they know best when, sometimes they don't. It is hard to be bolshy if you're not that way inclined (I'm the same) but don't put any pressure on yourself - you can only do your best even though it may seem that your best doesn't seem to be enough.
Post op my OH couldn`t tolerate morphine and was given the cocktail of paracetamol, diclofenac and tramadol two of each to be taken four times a day. He discovered that by spacing them out at staggered times the pain was managable and no "breakthough pain" was reported. It is a bit of a bind taking them at different times, but it may be worth a try. At least taken separately they are not fighting against one another.

On a lighter note, one night my dad was shouting the house down in agony. He asked for some of my painkillers and I gave him two tictac mints. The following morning the GP came to visit mum and as always asked dad how he was. Dad immediately demanded some the pills his daughter had given him during the night as it was the first time in ages he had woken with a clear head and a mouth that didn`t taste like a badger`s bum. The GP took me aside and tore strips off me for sharing prescription drugs, but once i was able to stop laughing long enough to explain he also saw the funny side of it.

Hope you get some assistance soon. Parsifal and Excalibur have given good advice, but i would go down the road of the ambulance to A & E, refusing to be responsible for your mum intil social services put a proper care package in place to suit all her personal care needs. Make sure your mum doesn`t have a key for home, then they can`t discharge her!

Take care
Hi again,
Am sitting waiting for Social Services to call back, so thought I'd bash out an update, and a few other questions.
I tried the Emergency social care route, again met with failure - was asked to wait til Tues. Well, we've made it to Tues, but this time, I'm going to refuse to be brushed off. She needs an emergency assessment TODAY and that's all I'm going to accept. Her carer from her existing care package (3 hrs a week) is in shortly, so I'll have time to hit the phone. Social services and also her GP, although I shall ask to speak to another GP at the surgery as her current one just shrugs his shoulders and says 'pass' when she's in agony! Grr.

If all else fails today, I'll get her back to A&E and do my darndest to get her admitted.

Excalibur - you mentioned a hospice/pain relief/palliative care consultant - do you have any idea of how to get hold of one of these?? I'm 'pretty sure' she got a referral to the pain clinic, but will get that confirmed with the GP later, as I don't know what's being actioned. I feel convinced that she needs the patch - not just for the morphine, but for the slow release effect. Currently she's in agony first thing, and it's only by about 5 pm that she can have a little mobility without too much pain. So far it looks like the injections haven't worked.

Also, I'm going to try to get to the local carers center, as hopefully they'll be able to help along the lines of how you guys are, which has made such an impact on my spirits if anything!

All the best,
Hope you managed to get someone to listen to you and get the appropriate care for your mum. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today.

Take care
Hope you've managed to make them listen. x x
Me too xx
Hi again!

Well, yesterday was a complete failure - brick wall upon brick wall. Social Services said there was no such thing as an emergency assessment. Luckily, Mum wasn't having AS terrible a day as she has been, so I held off with the ambulance route, and hoped today would be better or at least as good.

Well.... the pain WAS worse today, but I needed to call a different GP on the phone today, as she'd sent a letter (not her usual *swear word* of a GP!), as she was the one who was doing the pain management team referral. Turned out she HADN'T done it yet at all!!! And I just let it all come out - how I'd had to drive for 5 hours to get a commode, how no pain relief is working, how she can't walk, and how I'd NEVER seen someone in this much pain before! She tried again to tell me the psychotherapist she's seeing tomorrow should sort it out (read: it's all in her head!) and I explained that in the two trips to A&E she'd had an Xray and been diagnosed TWICE by the same consultant with bursitis, that it really couldn't be ALL in her head?

Finally, rather sheepishly, she agreed to the referral, and on my insistence, to it being made a priority case. Hoorah!

Then the brilliant bit happened. I had another call... from social services. We had a social worker on her way over to us for an.... Emergency Assessment!!! Yayyy!

Apparently, behind the scenes at social services, this social worker and her direct superior, had taken up the cause of the case... They'd stepped over the people I'd been talking to, and decided this case needed a re assessment URGENTLY. (damn, gone all watery eyed now!)


The social worker came, was incredibly sympathetic, and very sweet, and has reviewed Mum's care package to go from 3 hours domestic a week, to also include two extra visits per day, morning and evening, with me still 'doing lunch'! I'm so cool with that!

Oh the relief! It won't kick in for 7 - 10 days, but at least I've got the HOPE that the cavalry are on their way!

Thanks all for your support in all this, and just wanted to share my good news!! Image

God, it takes some energy to push the Big Machine into action lol!!

That's fantastic news Carolina Image
Be nice if the cavalry used a motor bike instead of shank's pony and get there quicker though Image
Great news Carolina.

Must be a big relief for you.
This is great to hear, Carolina - just goes to show -never give up! Image