Help

[bowlingbun]

I found counselling a HUGE help. I had a male counsellor to start with, he was very helpful once I started to open up, but like you I had lots of emotions bottled up so tightly for years I was afraid to unbottle them. Funnily enough, this happened when I arrived early one day, and saw him arrive on a beautiful powerful motorbike, and I told him about mine and our life in Australia. He then left, and I had to pay for another one, Helen. She supported me as first my brother died and mother died. Two houses full of stuff to empty and sell. Both encouraged me to care for myself more, when I'd always put the needs of others first. Learning how to do that was difficult, and way too late in life. I would definitely recommend a female counsellor if possible from my experience. Mine was £30 a session, I could only afford it as I'd been left some money. Worth every penny.

[bowlingbun]

I forgot to say that after asking for years,
Social Services finally agreed to fund my counselling as "part of the support I need in my caring role", after years of asking.

[j9dw]

I forgot to say that after asking for years,
Social Services finally agreed to fund my counselling as "part of the support I need in my caring role", after years of asking.

Wow! Well done on getting counselling through Social Services; I was told they couldn't fund counselling because I can get that through the NHS. When I explained that I had tried, but couldn't, they simply repeated that they couldn't fund counselling because I can get that through the NHS.

[j9dw]

I have had a very long conversation with her doctor who have simply handed out strong prescription drugs without question. They have now put a marker on her records.
I will email them to explain I have withdrawn all carer support- I can't tell you what I relief this feels. It won't be easy as I say I have family abroad who are very opinionated as to what I should be doing and Mum has handed my number to more people than BT, I do however intend to stand my ground.

Next step social services.

I am hoping rather naively that family understand and simply leave me alone.

Can you change your phone number? I think I would, in your position

[bowlingbun]

I would make a formal complaint about their refusal to provide counselling.
Incidentally, I spent years trying to squeeze it out of Hampshire!

[Susan_210612]

Oh gosh,

Reading your posts is very similar situation that I am in at the moment although it’s my dad who is the controller and I hate even having to write that word but it’s true. Unfortunately I am single and have no children and only a handful of friends that truly understand. How are you coping now?

[SPRJP]

Hi Susan,

I've been pulled straight back in.

Changing phone numbers isn't an option, ignoring phonecalls has only meant my children get called, which I can't allow to happen.

Mum got taken back into hospital due to her heart racing. After years of abusing medication she is now officially Ill and requires numerous tablets.

The overdose has now gone by the wayside, she refuses to discuss it and here I am pulled straight back into it. I feel like I am in one big dark hole with no hope, no escape only despair, anger and frustration and I only have myself to blame for allowing this to happen again.

I have found it so much harder and stressful trying to escape this situation when if I'm honest I knew there was no way out for me. I am simply now just going through the motions dealing with a mum who has treated my Dad with such lack of empathy and compassion as he was dying and treated me appallingly. If I walk away I fear I simply become her, and that's not me. All this anger I have is simply destroying me, but I see noway out.

I feel for you Susan as I know only too well how dealing with a controlling manipulative parent can be. It's not easy, it's not nice, in fact it's absolutely awful. I hope you find a way to deal with it I really do. As for me, well I have simply given up.