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At the end of my tether part two! - Carers UK Forum

At the end of my tether part two!

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Thanks to everyone that replied to my other thread. Thing just go from bad to worse. My dad came home from hospital and I'm at a loss as to why he's home, he really shouldn't be. I feel like crying every time I look at him.
Anyway, he came home on Monday, by Monday night my parents had given my brother £250!!!! According to my brother he hurt his foot but doesn't know how Image so when I went there on Tuesday morning he's hobbling about on mum's crutches, now mum is 4ft 11 and my brother is 5ft 7 so you can imagine what that looks like!!! I thought to myself he really needs to get a grip! He's self employed and because of the fact he couldn't put his foot down he's put himself on the sick! He went to a NHS walk in, they said he's pulled the achellies tendon. He was telling me yesterday that I really need to do more, I thought I was going to die laughing at that one Image He got a brand new car last week, the first payment is due next Friday, that payment is £320, where that's going to come from I don't know Image And the text messages, get me this and get me that, my bottomless pocket pays for it all, I said to my mum that he can go jump but she's saying it wont be for long, 2 days is waaaaaaaay too long! Trying to keep the peace is becoming harder work each day, but my brother can throw his toys out the pram is spectacular style when he starts Image He wants me to take him to the doctors for 8.00am tomorrow, I said no and hey ho guess what? He can suddenly drive his car!!!
I know I could go to a solicitors but if I did I'd be the bad person in all of this, my parents wouldn't forgive me.
You have to wonder if there's an end to it all at times!
fin
Hi Fin,

Please tell me to mind my own business if you think I'm overstepping the boundaries but,
sorry, I'm gonna talk 'tough' - put simply whilst you all let him get away with this behaviour he's not going to change, you make it too easy for him.

It's time for some tough love and I know that will be very, very hard - but it has to be done if you are going to have any kind of peace of mind.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that there are just the two of you and that he's the younger ? So I imagine that growing up maybe he was spoilt and it has just escalated into him becoming a very selfish, arrogant man who always gets his own way ?

If you are not willing to involve a solicitor (and I can understand why you would not want to) and for your own sanity and peace of mind, at the very least you need a family conference with it all out in the open.

I do so hope that you can find some solution as the stress is not good for you or for your parents.

susieq
Hi Susieq, thank you for the reply, my brother is actually older than me, but I left home earlier than him, and to cap it all he got the house next door to her!!!
I've told my parents that this has to stop, but my brother uses emotinal blackmail to be honest. The "it'll be your fault" kind of thing.
I'm trying to keep the peace but I'm struggling to because I know this is all wrong.

fin
right-- u need to get tough- kick the crutches out form under him, poke a wet finger in his ear ( a wet willy) , poke yer tounge out

see u r allowed as u r the younger sister and when he tells your mum say-- for gods sake dont be so pthetic when would i get tiem to be so chilish

it may not help the money side of things but ti will make u feel good.. and when his a sleep sneak in and put his hand in cold water- will make him wet the bed (i loved being the older sister!)
I think that you should ring the Action on Elder Abuse helpline and ask them for advice because this sounds very much like financial abuse, their website and contact number are here:

http://www.elderabuse.org.uk/Mainpages/Helpline.htm