[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Friend told he should care for me for free - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Friend told he should care for me for free

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Whether or not the DWP did or didn't say that her friend should care for her 'for free'....that is the understand Ruth has, and that's what she posted here.

If we need to have 'the full story' (ie 'the truth' ) from everyone who posts, before commenting, then we'd all need to be investigative journalists checking out every post that is put up here!

I'm not really sure what the point of your comment was - if I want to feel outraged, or anything else, about what someone has posted, then I shall!

I don't think forum members should tell each other how to react, should we?
Oh whoops Ladies, calm down please - it's a simple misunderstanding that's all :)

Hopefully Ruth has been able to get through to the Adviceline and got the right advice to help her sort the problem out, but "bickering" won't help her feel welcome will it ?

If it was my statement
Incorrect assumption Jenny
that started this off - I apologise,I should have said "it's a common misconception".
In short, Ruth, we don't know for certain but we know someone who does who hopefully will call back in the morning :D

Good luck, Anne
Interesting point re. 'requirement to care'. Recently I informed social work would be restricting care to minimum (effectively a work-to-rule LOL) (nutrition, medication, incontinence laundry) for my mum. Would not be attempting to rouse her or assist carers with rousing her and would not be informing day centre etc if she not going. (This was really as she had been taken off 'person-at-risk' register following review meeting) .

While acknowledging that if you're not a legal guardian then, oestensibly, 'the State' cannot obilige you to care, what about minimum requirements of food, shelter and warmth? I wouldn't have been at all sure of my legal ground in threatening to withdraw ALL care.

In the end I got a 'respite break' (of sorts!) and all professionals worked hard to keep her safe so have suspended my 'go-slow' over festive period. Ho-ho-ho! (Although I did ignore mum's daft young carer :whistle: calling for me to assist with meal prep...erm mircowave set needed to do press start) :huh:
Interesting question. Maybe it depends on the terms on which you live in the house of the caree? If you pay rent in any way, then you would be a lodger, I guess, and surely that means the physical welfare of your 'landlady' is irrelevant to you, and not your responsibility in any way whatsoever.

If, however, you live 'rent-free' then one might argue that your sole purpose and justification for being in the house is to look after, to some degree, the person whose house it is!

If you don't live in the house, and don't receive any kind of benefit (ie, something to your advantage) from the caree, then I would say that we are all perfectly entitled to 'walk by on the other side of the street' if we so wish.

I believe in some countries (possibly Italy, France?) the law DOES oblige a parent to continue to look after, in some way, their adult children, and vice versa. This seems to me to be VERY dangerous ground, and ripe for exploitation of either the parent or the children, depending on how selfish their reciprocal is!