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Alzhiemers & peoples reactions to it - Carers UK Forum

Alzhiemers & peoples reactions to it

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Alzhiemers & Dementia are more commonly talked about now where as once over it was hushed up, but it still never ceases to amaze me that some people never even consider that, when someone acts a little strangely or makes a mistake it could be down to once of these conditions.

I take mum for her main shopping, dinner & to pay bills on Mondays I have her out most of the day from around 9am, till 5pm or later as my stepdad is in day care all days monday, her alzhiemers has progressed & her personailty has changed, she can be overly friendly to people or decide she doesnt like the look of them.

Taking her round the supermarket & trying to follow a list a mile long, can be difficult especailly when half way round she decides she needs the loo & I have to park the trolly & point her in the general direction & wait outside for her).

But she enjoys the day out & wandering round the super market & the shops, then going for lunch, this week when we got to the check out I put my bits & pieces on first, then a divider then put all mums shopping on she was tight behind me, I paid for mine & threw them in the trolly, on turning round mum had packed all the stuff Id put on the conveyer belt into carriers & tied them shut on top as she always does once we've been through the trolly, she'd also packed some of the man who was behind us groceries too, I asked mum to move the trolly forward & hastily started unpacking the bags & putting them on the conveyer belt ( with a face like a beetroot because there was a huge cue behind us) the man directly behind us who's shopping she'd packed by accident, was quite hostile in his body posture & quite rude saying she packed my stuff away too whats she bloody doing. Image

I replied alzhiemers can effect anyone & i'd hope that if you ever got it & made a mistake due to it, those around you would be more sympathetic & understanding then you!! He never passed comment just looked sheepish.

I got her shopping through the till & packed away, with mum saying I didnt know I'd done that, why did I do that, & getting quite annoyed about it, I was annoyed but more by the mans attitude, & the way other people looked away trying to ignore what was going on.

My mum was a carer for many years herself she was what was then called a Home Carer, she went into peoples houses cleaned, washed made meals, helped with personal care etc, but she looked after some of the worse alzhiemers patients & always had time for them, but she did say if I ever end up with that Please dont tell me I dont want to know.

Thats what ive done she's happy to know her memory is going with old age as she puts it alzhiemers is never mentioned in front of her & she's happy that way.

I just wish there was some sort of badge or even necklace etc not with wording on maybe just a symbol of some kind that would be associated with dementia & alzhiemers so that people might have an idea what the problem is before being off hand or abusive.

After all it can strike anyone at any age really I thought it was 4 years ago my mum started with it but having checked she started with it at 64 & she's now almost 70, she want old to start with it & she was always on top of everything, a great cook & a mad cleaner everything had to be spotless, now she needs supervision to cook, & with meds etc the only thing that remains the same is the mania for cleaning!

Im grateful for the fact that as hard a work as it is at times she knows who I am & she looks forward to shopping days & days out because I know the time may come when she wont know me at all Image
Sue, that is so sad and hurtful when people react like that - both my aunt and uncle had alzheimers, neither knew their children towards the end although my aunt knew my Mum which was also heartbreaking because she couldn't understand why Mum couldn't see her because of her glaucoma.

I've had people tutting behind me in supermarket queues when I'm trying to pack and Mum's having a coughing fit so I'm scrabbling around in my bag for mints for her or when some idiot abandons their trolley in no mans land and I have to ask them to move so I can get the wheelchair past, mind you I've developed a very loud 'excuse me' voice which does the trick Image

You and your dear Mum have as much right to be shopping as the next person, we all deserve respect whether we're able bodied or not.

Sending you both a big hug.

Paula xx
My father had mobility problems caused from his ww2 problems but when he was 82 they said he had alzheimers they the doctors and others were more concerned about his alzheimers they forgot about his mobility which is what i wanted help with.
we found his alzheimers strange but it never bothered us we told friends and any one we were with as soon as we met them and they were ok with it his main problem was he could not remember recent events just the last couple of years but his war time and working life were ok he did receive arecept but we found no change and as he had a minor stroke we advised to stop it.
STAN knew he had memory problems and he just got on with life as best he could.
Hi Sue and Paula,

The times I managed to take mam shopping were similar at times to what you have both described.If it was quiet and we could manage that was fine but on days when it was busy or just too much shopping to pack as well as make sure mam was ok and her wheelchair not causing an obstruction, I always asked for a bag packer.Most times one was available, but if not the check out girl would help.She would scan and pack at same time.This applied to ASDA,Tesco and Sainsburys,whichever shop we used at that time.
I have since used the same approach when taking the old lady I work for out in her wheelchair.
At the end of the day you are giving the supermarkets your custom and it is their responsibilty to give good customer service.
Dont say....Can I have a bag packer as this gives them the opportunity to say none available but instead say.....WILL you get me a bag packer please or WILL YOU help me pack please.Have to be a very rude assistant that will then say No ( and in yours and mine cases Paula,have to be brave or a fool Image ).

Hope this helps,
Rosemary
x x
Morrisons & Tesco (when you can get parked!) do offer to help you pack and 9 times out of 10 I can manage without help, it's just if Mum does have a coughing fit just at that moment we have a bit of a problem - most people are OK, just the odd idiot who has no patience Image


Paula xx