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i had put a post on called what next but i carnt find it My brother in law died yesterday it just gave him 6 weeks from finding out he had cancer to the end i never got to say good bye but i have still and always will have my memories of him Molly
Oh Molly, I am so sorry to hear that.
I read all your thread and the problems you had.
Please accept my sincere condolences.
Hi Molly, I'm very sorry to hear that, please accept our condolences.

Your original thread for anyone who wants to read it is here

http://www.carersuk.org/Forums/viewtopic.php?t=190

Matt Hill
Carers UK
Morning Molly,

So sorry to hear your news Molly.My thoughts with you at this time.Like you said you will always have your memories,noone can take those away.

How are you and hubby these days? Please let us know how you both are.

Be strong
Rosemary
x x x x
Hello Molly

I'm so sorry to hear about your Brother-in-law, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Take care
Maryann x
I do remember the thread Molly, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
Hi again Molly,

This just to let you know a quicker way to find any previous postings you make in the future,rather than go hunting for them.If you click on your own profile.........under the part where it says how many posts you have made, there is another line.......find all posts made by then your name..Click on that and everything you have posted previously will open up in a new page.

Hope I have explained right...us geordies you know..not very bright at times... Image Image

Love
Rosemary
x x x x
Molly

Take comfort in knowing there are genuine folk in the world who do care for you and share your grief.

Hope you will keep posting and let us know how you and your husband are getting on.

Take care
Meg x
well my sister spoke to me yesterday i ask her if she was ok or as well as she could be she said yes so i went on to say i wouldnt be going to the funeral she looked quite shocked and ask why well i wasnt able to say or make my peace with my brother in law so i am not going to go just to keep people asking why as a family we are not there i was also told that we wouldnt be together so i other words we (my family) would just go with the crowd not the imidiate family do you think i am wrong i have sent flowers also i will go up the churchyard later on the day he does get burried Molly
Oh Molly, I do so feel for you having been in a similar situation recently.

My husband on doctors orders was told he could not travel over 500 miles to a family funeral. The family got a bit huffy and hubby was beside himself and felt he had let them down.

We sent a condolance care with a handwritten note saying we were sorry we could not be with them, but we would be thinking of them. On the day of the funeral we lit a candle at the time the service was due to start, and I had copied out a verse for my husband to read. Shortly after we phoned another brother who could not attend having had a heart scare the week before, but he had not been ostricised and the brothers chatted about happier times with their lost nephew. At night we watched the sky and the first bright star that appeared was "named" for John. We do this for all our family and friends whether we attend the service or not.

You have obviously put a lot of thought into what to do, and I hope that you will be able to be a good support to your sister. I had an old auntie who used to say "Do whatever you feel is right, but whatever you do, do it with dignity and decorum"

On the day we buried my mum I remembered nothing about the cemetry part of the service, even though I had a cord....(frightening!!) but we went back later on and took photographs of the flowers to send to her sister in Holland and did the same again when the headstone went up. I don`t feel mum is in the cemetry, she is all around us always. On her headstone we put "asleep with angels" with hindsight that should have been "Flying with Angels"

Your memories are in your head and in your heart, no one can take them away, and remember the good times are the easiest ones to recall. Don`t dwell on bad times as happy memories will far outweigh the bad ones.

Take care
Meg