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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:24 pm
Feeling stressed at mo. Been looking after mum for years now and moved back home to look after her as she was not coping. Up until recently been going to work part time. Three weeks ago she fell in the night and fractured her pelvis. She has been home for 2 weeks now. Due to her age 78 it may take 8 weeks to get better. With her other health issues not sure she will get back to how she was. Im off work at mo, unpaid from tuesday. May have to pack up work. Feeling stressed and get a bit off with her and i do not mean to, last thing i want is to upset her. Anyone else feel the same?
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:16 pm
Common feelings Barrie, is there a care package in place for Mum, it sounds like one should have been implemented before discharge. Has Mum been assessed by Social Services? Have you had a carers assessment?
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:14 pm
Hi no there is no care package in place, just taken it on myself, mum does not like strangers at home. Hospital did not discuss with us. Think they discharged her a but early. She is getting stronger hope i can give enough care for her myself just need to stop stressing i spose
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:29 pm
Hi Barrie.I am in a similar situation.I have been married only 3 years and only spend weekend with my hubby at home as Im with mum during the week as my dad still works at 72.He is looking to retire but Im finding things difficult at the moment.
Dads lucky I don't work in the day and only work evenings as he would be totally stuck!!! I feel very frustrated at times and very tearfull so don't feel alone I have learnt from this site a lot of us are in the same situation.
My mum is still aware of things so bringing in a stranger or something would not work.xxx
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:52 pm
Im always feeling stressed Barrie..... at different levels i may add
Its tiring/exhausting at best !
But here you realise you are not isolated and it helps everyone to be able to just unwind even for a few minutes
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:57 pm
I agree that being a carer can be stressful. I know this because my father who I care for can be really stubborn which stresses me out a bit.
I like using the forum because it helps to get rid of the social isolation associated with being a carer.
I also attend a support group for carers in my local area which also helps to prevent social isolation and it gives me a break from my caring role.
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:13 pm
Think we all need that break Sheryl..... even if its not for long it all helps
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:47 pm
Ellen, I've just replied to another of your posts. I'm absolutely horrified and appalled that your dad is still working and leaving caring for mum to you, so you don't getvto live a normal married life when you are so newly married. To me, that is very, very wrong. He is taking advantage of you, in my opinion. You can never get those years bsck, they are so very special.
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:12 pm
It is a difficult time when you are juggling work and not knowing how much your mum will improve. I've been there with Dad and all I can say is take each week as it comes. You will either get through things or reach a point when you reralise that you can't manage everything and will either need some help with the care or reduce your time at work , change your job or leave altogether. Try and be open minded and go with the flow. I changed my full time stressy job to something completely different and part time - much better now
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:00 pm
Ellen, I agree with Bowling Bun. I may be cynical, but I suspect your dad prefers working to looking after his wife - which he'd rather leave to his daughter!
Can your husband take up the issue on your behalf? He has a 'right' to be indigant, and protective of YOU, which your dad would find harder to 'resist' compared with just assumign his 'dutiful daughter' is going to be the carer for his wife....
(I may be utterly misinterpreting what is going on, so apols if your dad is desperately trying to stop work and be with his wife, but finds it hard to do so right now financially.)