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Feeling sad and very much on my own - Carers UK Forum

Feeling sad and very much on my own

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I feel sad and very much on my own.People keep saying i need to get out but they do not understand how much my husband depends on me when i come home from work,he is at home alone all day so when i come home i feel obliged to take him out even when i don't feel like it.I recently had my gallbladder out and was incapacitated and could not get out of the house so i now understand how he feels being cooped up in the house all day.Some times i really resent him that my life has changed so much but i do love him does any one else feel like this.
Sheila I have noticed many people echoing your feelings on the forum. I certainly feel trapped and I don't like the resentfulness I have towards my mother. Sadly we miss the lives we had and grieve for the life we would like to be living. And it all seems worse in the winter. Is there anyone else who could take him out occasionally so you could do something for yourself?
Denise we had a very good neighbour who used to take him out but she had a stroke 3 months ago that has paralysed her down her left side this has really affected him and me badly she is a lovely lady sad how bad thing always happen to good people.Every one else works and have no time to help.
Have you had a carers' assessment Sheila? Perhaps your needs could be considered then and a small budget for some respite could make this situation a bit easier for you both?
Hi Denise
We get on OK but it just makes me cross that people do not understand how hard it is.I think they think my husband can do more then he does but they are not with him all the time to understand how he suffers.When i went into hospital i had to stay in over night so his brother came down to stay with him ,he now realises just how bad he is and how hard it is for me.I must say when my dad was ill i criticised his wife how she used to complain all the time i can see why now and how hard it must have been for her.You never now what people are going through until you walk in their shoes.
Hi Sheila
Are there any day care centres that your husband could attend even one day a week? When my mum went they came and picked her up and brought her home. She paid £3.00 each way and it meant she was independent of us for her entire day out. It would also give your husband something of his own to do and talk about.
Hope this helps
Tracy