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Carers UK Forum • feel so alone caring for son & hubby
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feel so alone caring for son & hubby

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:33 pm
by Suzanne _1701
Hi I'm new here. Don't really know what I need, advice maybe or just to hear someone else understands. Care for my hubby who has physical disabilities as well as OCD & BPD, my teenage son has now begun suffering with severe PTSD and I also have a 15 mth old baby. I feel like I have no life left at all, I love them all so much and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them but I barely get time for a shower. I can never get out to see friends, even if I plan it I usually have to cancel because my son is so ill. I'm always being told to 'make time for myself' and id love to but there just isn't a spare second in the day for me to exercise, or meditate or do any if the things I used to enjoy doing to destress. I feel so alone, like I have nothing and no one outside of these four walls. I know I shouldn't complain because I'm not the one who's ill and I feel like I'm being so selfish but I just feel so alone. Am I the only one?

Re: feel so alone caring for son & hubby

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:44 pm
by nicholas_1612
Hi. I know exactly how you feel. I am a full time carer for my mum who had a stroke, though she can walk albeit slowly with a Zimmer frame and eat by herself.I still do all the household chores, shopping, laundry etc. The only time I do go out is either for shopping or a haircut. Like yourself, there's nothing I wouldn't do for my mum, but I don't have any time to meet friends etc. Unfortunately I,m sure there are plenty of people like us out there. Be thinking of you. Kind regards Nicholas

Re: feel so alone caring for son & hubby

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:47 pm
by MrsAverage
Hello Suzanne and welcome.
My goodness what a caring load you have! There's many of us on here who struggle to look after 1 caree let alone 3. No wonder you are exhausted and isolated.
First advice is to get a Carers Assessment for yourself and Needs Assessments for you hubby and son. This should produce a plan where you no longer have to do everything yourself. There's likely to be a waiting list for assessments but keep chasing and being assertive so you don't get fobbed off. You need help, your load is too much for 1 person.
Am sure other forumites will be along with other advice and support soon. I just wanted to say an initial 'hi'
Kind regards
MrsA