Falls and nightcare

[littlewren]

Hi all, just really want to share my thoughts on nightcare for the elderly with regards to living with the family. There has been a few posts past and present about elderly parents coming to live with us, I say us as I've been looking after my 92 yr old mother for just over two years and my step father up to a year ago. Without going on too much what I found very stressful was night toileting.
Without going into too much detail I used to lie awake listening to every creak in the house etc making sure my stepfather was OK getting to and fro to the bathroom. Then one night my fears came true, he had a severe fall, and after breaking his hip had to go into a care home as he could no longer walk, he was OK with this. My mother has a commode which she uses as she can't walk very well at night.
But the reason I'm writing this is, after you've had a day of caring you can't quite switch off although you think you do as the slightest noise and your awake.
This is just for anyone who is thinking of looking after a relative in their own home, unless you have a night shift.
Sorry about waffling on, I hope this makes a bit of sense.

[Juggler]

IT makes complete sense.
I also remember how stressful the situation was when I stayed with my dad or had him at mine. He fell at night several times when I was there and as soon as I heard him moving I was on tenterhooks.
You're right. On top of the day shift, doing the night shift as well is very demanding, even without the emotions of looking after a loved one.
Jx

[Irene_1509]

I have never slept soundly since my husband got home from hospital last year after having a bad stroke. I was always listening for him trying to get up to the loo or latterly falling out of bed. 2 weeks ago we got given a hospital bed from the social services. What a difference, the carers get him into bed at night, fix his night bag on his catheter and once they put the sides of the bed up then that is him settles for the night. What a difference knowing that he is safe and cannot fall out. I still sleep with one ear open in case he calls out during the night, but at least I know he cannot come to any harm.

[littlewren]

Yes, juggler that tenderhooks feeling is very stressful. My stepfather has a catheter bag aswell but he refused the nightbag so had to keep getting up! Not to mention when it got blocked at night, even now writing this I feel guilty about my negative feelings.

[Elaine]

My Mum sleeps alone in her bungalow at night, which is a worry, but what she wants. She has a hospital bed and cannot get up because she has to be hoisted anyway. If she is unwell, head cold or similar, I sleep in the spare room but I'm up and down, checking on her all night.
She does have a personal alarm which she has occasionally pressed and as I live only 5 mins away by car I'm there pretty quickly.
Last 'emergency' turned out to be her radio alarm clock which had mysteriously been set to go off at 2 am. She couldn't understand what the noise was.
I don't think I'd last very long if I was 'on duty' all night as well as all day.
Elaine

[littlewren]

Thanks for your replys all, yes I think that sometimes we forget that things can be difficult at night aswell and we can't function properly without sleep.

[Eun]

Before our 30 year old son had his spinal fusion at the age of 13 we were up and down 4 or 5 times a night turning him and my husband had to work the next day as well. It was horrendous - no wonder my husband collapsed and had to give up working - when your caring role is as intensive as ours there is no way you can both work in a paid job and care! Now our son cannot get comfortable if he is lying on his side plus his ventilator tubing gets squished. He has a hosptal bed along with a pressure relief mattress. It takes quite a while to get him comfortable with pillows, cushions etc but usually (unless he is unwell) we get a full nights sleep but we have the two bedroom doors open so we can hear the vent alarm if it goes off.

Eun

[littlewren]

Thanks for sharing eun I'm pleased you usually sleep OK but I appreciate the difficulty of the vent alarm, best wishes