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Has anyone had positive benefits from counselling? - Carers UK Forum

Has anyone had positive benefits from counselling?

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Hi all.

Has anyone had positive benefits from counselling? My wife is the principal carer and I feel that she may benefit from conselling for her underlying worries.

However, she has enough to do without listening to time wasters. I have seen one post here where a carer seemed to find that their counsellor just made them feel worse.

How does one go about finding a counsellor? I have heard that some GP surgeries have counselling facilities but ours certainly doesn't.

Any thoughts?

Best wishes,
Just be aware that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is most often what your GP will offer, and rarely more than 6 sessions, and that is least likely to be effective for a carer. Our counselling service sees a lot of carers who first tried CBT and rejected it.
I have just started to attend bereavement counselling(yesterday). Very sceptical about it, but my GP persuaded me to try it.(as Audrey says,six sessions).
The counsellor put me at ease immediately, I could make eye contact with him, I don't think I have looked into anyone's eyes except my children and grandson, since the death of my younger son.
I do not know whether it will help, but I do recognise that I am at a point where I need to try.

I know that I would have refused it completely, prior to this.It is two years next week since my son died. I was not ready to believe there was a life for me in the future.I don't know whether it will help your wife unless she wants this for herself. (my husband refuses to try counselling at the moment).

By the way, all counselling sessions will suit some people more than others. I had counselling from Cruse after my mother's death, but their approach did not help me. It may well have helped others.

Good luck if your wife does decide to take this option,I would ask your GP,as they may not advertise the counselling, in case too many people want it.
Had six sessions last year through our local carers group,for me it did not help as it did make me feel worse and I still had the same problems to go home to.I came to the conclusion I had more help from friends listening to me.It can help some people though.
i found it very helpful and would recommend anyone to give it a try.
its hard work, or was for me and no quick fix, but it made a huge difference to me. yes, you do go home to same problems but somehow getting it all out into the open (so to speak) i found lifts a great weight off your shoulders. there were tears, and tears and more tears, but for me - well i would not hesitate to see a councellor again if i felt i needed to.

mine was all free, arranged through my local carers centre.
Thank you very much for all of you who have answered my question. On reading my question in the cold light of day, I see I must have been much more irritable than I thought.

Your answers have shown me that I had the wrong idea about counselling.

I can see that many people in a caring situation would have the need to talk to someone, let off steam and get things off their chests and for that it may benefit to see someone who is used to listening without judgement, without offering advice.

I think that what my wife could do with is someone who would listen to what she is saying, pick up on her concerns and say, *Actually, it does not have to be like that. Have you tried this? or Would you consider trying that? or A lot of people in your situation have found it very helpful to do so and so.*

I did not specifically ask my GP about counselling. I asked him if a medical problem I had could be stress related and he said it almost certainly was. So I asked him if there was anyone I could talk to about that and his reply was, *I do not get involved in that side of things. Try Social Services.*

My wife had already had a long conversation with Social Services and basically, my mother in law has too much money in the bank to make pursuing that worth while. I am trying not to be negative, I just want to make it clear that the counselling services may be available in all areas, it is just that I have not found out about them.

Thanks for all you replies,
It is good to be listened to.

Best wishes,
I would recommend it. I have seen several over 15 years! Like anything else there are useless therapists and good ones. You need to feel comfortable and at ease or it won't work. Contact your local carers centre ( if u have one!!) as they will know of people that are relevent. Like others have saud they should not tell you what to do, but help you explore your issues and guide you to finding answers/ ways of more positive behavior or what ever it is you are looking for.
I was fortunate enough to have two 'lightbulb' moments in counselling, prompted by the counsellor questioning something I'd taken for granted for years. Faulty thinking deprogrammed in an instant.
Being able to talk freely about what was going on and bounce ideas with somebody impartial was a godsend. I was one of those people who never stuck at it, though.
I can't see how your wife would be denied access to a vital support service because her mother had pots of money. She is assessed on her own resources, not the resources of her parents: they dont come into the equation.
I have no idea if counselling works or not, by the way: its not a road to travel lightly, but it probably wouldnt exist if there werent a need for it. That said, I think "advice" is often more practical: I think counselling only works if you really want to change but have deep underlying barriers that you need help to identify and overcome.

I have always found a few days in the mountains by myself sorts me out: it gets rid of the clutter and enables a degree of introspection.
Every gp should have connections to counsellors, but you may have to wait through this route. With regard to cost, you can get free sessions organised through carers groups or charities, quite often a charity raising funds for a particular condition will put funds aside for helping relatives. Even if u find a private counsellor most have graded payments systems, so if you are low or unwaged, you pay less to make it more affordable.
I have had counselling a few times and every experience has been entirely positive. I saw things in a different way and uncovered negative patterns that I could start fixing once i knew what they were. Or I just got the chance to talk without being judged. You cannot under estimate how healing this is. I have also studied counselling and know the skills work. I think bereavement or person centred counselling may be best.
I would not hesitate to see a counsellor again and I think the experience can be life changing. Expect to go once a week for maybe 1 or 2 months and then the visits may need to be less frequent. The counsellor will be able to judge when to help more or back away. Good luck