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Even tough men cry! - Carers UK Forum

Even tough men cry!

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi Sussex Rox,
I agree a cry does help. I cried last night. In fact I sobbed - a day full of troubles and trials with me practically crying in public trying to convince my mother she doesn't need or want to buy fence panels. I came home, argued with hubby and cried.
Cleared the air. Felt better. Hope you do too xxx
Your only human, a sensitive guy, I will cry with you Rokx, Image
It took me sobbing like I have never sobbed before for my husband to put down his ipad and actually take notice of the fact I need a hug. My husband does not cope with my caring responsibilities and consequently has increased his workload so he is never here. When he comes home he is genuinely exhausted so it's shower, pjs, food and tv. As my day involves caring or organising care for my mother he is not interested. His barriers are UP. Last night I lost it and cried and cried. He took notice, we talked, and feel better. He realises I need his help so those barriers need to come down Image
Glad you are feeling better - tomorrow is another day and all that ..........
Xxx
Nothing wrong with a good cry. Did you know that tears from emotion are full of stress hormones; those from pealing onions aren't. So, having a good cry does really let it all out. Those stress hormones can cause heart attacks!
Me, I'm a total wimp when it comes to pain; emotional or physical. I jump up and down and yell my head off. Apparently, best thing you can do. Next time I thump my finger with a hammer, I intend to yell with total abandon... not that I don't already!
In my book, ONLY real men cry! I would never trust a man who didn't cry, and I would feel desperately sorry for a man who couldn't cry.

Crying in a man, for me, is real proof that they have a heart, and without a heart, what is a man?

My husband was always blinking away like crazy at the end of soppy films, and I'd just silently hand him a paper tissue (!), and my brother does the same. I never saw my father cry before the day we had to take our ancient, very ill cat to the vet, to be put down. I remember how he stroked her, and said goodbye, and then I realised there were tears in his eyes.....
Sussex,

Respect to you for sharing that with us. I love your tag line, and can imagine that many male carers might "cry behind closed doors", but it's good that you've opened your virtual door to share this with other carers.

Sending you a virtual hug, or if you prefer, a quick pat on the shoulder, before turning away before it all gets too "touchy feely" for you. Image
Oh my dear Sussex don't go down the route of bottling it up again if you need hugs then ask for them on here they're only virtual ones but they will help a bit. I often sit alone when I come back from Mums and sob.... it's usually after a day when Mum has been particularly nasty to me and the tears are for her not me. I feel so sad that this lady who has worked so hard all of her life to give my Brother and myself the lives we have today (and I might add their strict upbringing resulted in neither him, me or even now my Daughter ever bringing any trouble to the door) has to end her days with the getting more than occasional day now where she is so frightened she results to nastiness. The cry usually helps to get me back on track where I realise it's now when she needs me rather than the other way around. My hubby doesn't show his feeling very often but he did sob and sob when we lost our little best friend of a mutt nearly 4 years ago and he also cried as much as the rest of us when Dad passed in July and I agree with the others on here a true Man is one who is not afraid to show his feelings ..... one huge big cyber hug coming your way my friend xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Sussex - thank you for this thread. I am in a very lonely caring situation which becomes overwhelming. The release of tears is a very precious thing and the knowledge that others experience this, and are prepared to say so, is so helpful. I often have a wee cry in the bathroom as part of my "getting ready for the day" routine but the past few days have been extra heavy going, a real struggle, so I have headed upstairs several times for a real sobbing session.

I have sometimes headed out to the shed and hammered nails into a lump of wood but not in this weather.

Hugs to all xxxxxxxxxxx
Just found this thread
You can always PM me Image
Yes this is a very good topic - I had a good cry too this evening music always sets me off today's music was ELO Mr Blue Sky on the radio - always reminds me of growing up out on a bus trip on this occasion with the local sea cadets - all sitting on the bus the song come on & wow it was a moment in childhood I always treasure. Really happy memory that one.

So as an adult in this mad caring role like everyone else who posted here I always enjoy a good cry as it relieves stress so much hormones someone mentioned - that is probably right too. So well done Sussex for bringing up a very good topic & one we can all definitely relate too - should encourage. I also think it was the full moon that always sends me into a mind set of one kind or another.

And while we are on the stress front I also find ''rescue remedy'' really helpful does what it says on the tin - boots do it three for the price of two about £10 each but you get a better deal buying three as always. But try one first in case it doesn't work for you - we are all very different & bear in mind other medications too - but I have always found it more than helpful. In fact a life saver when stress & exhaustion becomes too much as it does more often than not. Talk to the pharmacist if in any doubt at all about it.

Anyway yes crying is a great stress reliever - a great stress reliever it's free & is the body's way of coping too I should imagine. God bless. Someone mentioned a hug that is a good thing too - .