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dunno where my head or this thread is going - Carers UK Forum

dunno where my head or this thread is going

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It's sometimes too upsetting to dwell on the past and too worrying to wonder what the future holds, so yup, I live in the moment.Tomorrow's another day. Image
What sprung to mind when i read your post Audrey was this poem By Philip Larkin


What are days for?
Days are where we live.
They come, they wake us
Time and time over.
They are to be happy in:
Where can we live but days?

Ah, solving that question
Brings the priest and the doctor
In their long coats
Running over the fields.

That aside I think the big picture is important too. It would be a rotten world if no one thought beyond the immediate and cared for no one other than themselves.

I was brought up to believe we are responsible for others welfare and not just our own which is probably why i have spent quite a lot of time doing voluntary work for charities and why in the past i have been politically active locally. Although at the moment I am having a break from being altruistic lol, when i'm not caring i am doing something for me (what do you do to lift a low mood?...buy a horse Image )

As for the really 'big picture'..why are we here etc...After much soul searching, reading and thought i have reached the momentus conclusion that...I haven't got a clue! In the end i think life means whatever you make it mean.
Ladies .... I haven't got a clue either!

I was brought up to be kind to others, to help people and act responsibly. Most of that I've managed to do. I've also done volunteer work for charities for about 15 years, I've kept an eye on neighbours, taken meals to people who've been ill, visited people in hospitals, kept an eye on other people's kids occasionally, fed animals for people etc.

I've been out in the snow and gritted all the paths in an area where old people live and been to the shops for those who didn't want to risk it. I've delivered parish magazines, picked up litter and supported local meetings. If someone asks for a cake for a Fete, I bake one. If they want an extra pair of hands, I usually help out.

This last few months have been awful for me for various reasons and there have been many days when I could quite happily have disappeared off the face of the earth. I have discovered that nobody is indispensible as they say. I have resigned from a part-time job I've had for nearly 20 years and they couldn't care less. Not a Thank You card, not a phone call, nothing. We're not talking some big faceless organisation either but a local concern where I thought we were all friends.
Called away to answer phone!

I have also discovered who my real friends are. Just one or 2 have been supportive and popped round, the rest haven't made any effort at all.

That's that off my chest! Sorry.
sometimes I get so engrossed in my little world that I forget that theres a world out there with other people living their own lives. Especially now I'm no longer working I find that some days the only people I see and talk to are my hubby and my kids.
I can understand that Booksey but come on here & chat to us!! Image

I've gone in on myself the last couple of months and this is so unlike me. I don't feel like mixing, answering the phone or door and am best in my own house. I keep myself busy (I never lay around doing nothing) and I am giving myself little goals to MAKE myself feel better.
I think I'm very stuck in the here and now and immediate future at the moment. I heard on a Radio 4 programme that a big cause of stress is powerlessness to effect change. That is where I am at the moment. So many professionals involved with deciding S's future and me powerless. This means I cannot plan ahead, there are too many ifs.

I have always chosen to have challenges in my life - get through college, move to a new city for my first job, volunteered in Romania for 2 years, moved from mainstream to special ed, took on S .... In between challenges I usually just jog along with life. I think maybe I due a period of "jogging along." The what, who knows?

Having had two periods of very poor mobility and pain leading twice to major surgery and had to a use zimmer, grab rails, raised toilet seat and accept help, I have experienced being old. I didn't enjoy it. So for now I'd rather not contemplate being old.

...a big cause of stress is powerlessness to effect change. That is where I am at the moment.
I've spent a lot of time there. Thanks. It's caused me a lot of problems and it's good to see that written down (or typed).
Bertiebear - http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/me ... ayepisode2 programme from 21st June. This is discussed. I know what you mean, it helped me hearing it said out loud, it somehow validated my feelings.

Thanks for the link Melly Image