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A description of a carer. - Carers UK Forum

A description of a carer.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I found this description of a carer, and the sacrifice they make when becoming a carer, do you agree?
http://bit.ly/fz5puS
I am a carer, but my Mother moved into my home, she is overwhelming me at the moment - she has easily slipped back in time 40yrs and treats me accordingly. My low self esteem is getting ever lower. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Not a good day today - sorry

Linda
Hi Linda, good to see you back again. Change your name from Invisible to Woman With Lovely Smile cos thats what you've got. Chin up girl, we are all behind you Image
Hi Linda, good to see you back again. Change your name from Invisible to Woman With Lovely Smile cos thats what you've got. Chin up girl, we are all behind you Image
That we are Image
And to us you are not invisible at all, but a lovely, kind, thoughtful, caring person who is very important!
can i add to everything said here allready and give anything more than those who have so splendidly put things and been so right in what they have said?.

You are EVERYTHING.You have a life to live.You are just wonderfull.Be wonderfull to and for yourself.Be everything that is right for you.

You deserve every hug going,you deserve every smile there is.Oh theres EVERYTHING to add,So much to say about YOU.For your care has meant you have felt low.

but you matter to every one who has responded here,and many others who might have read your words.

care is everything,in can drain a person of everything.
Then there is the carer who lives- more precisely exists- on the inside. They are locked in the prison that is the pensioner’s domain, surrounded by tablet dispensers, bathroom aids, and incontinence pads and ageing ornaments.
It was like the Alamo, in other words, there was no surrender. It is no exaggeration to say that the carer who lives in is living a life sentence.

This carer, male or female divorced or more often unmarried makes the ultimate sacrifice.

No matter how much you love the person you care for, it is human to feel anger towards them at some point in your caring role, you’ve given up part of your life to take care of them, sacrificed a part of yourself.
God! what a depressing picture she paints! Image

Each improvement or good day is a blessing and brings a smile of warmth.
There's a close and loving bond too and I really thank God that I don't feel the same way as the writer. Image
It's a challenge yes and at times can be soul destroyingly difficult but it's not 'locked in a prison with no surrender!'
(((hugs)))
Marie x
Marie, I agree with you.
Just this evening, my elder son, 26 years old, Downs Syndrome and type 1 Diabetes, has suddenly started working out numbers, how many units of insulin for how high/low a blood sugar is.It was such a EUREKA moment,to know that the hard work is achieving something for him,and that he is so proud of himself for trying to work it out.
Caring is very hard work,and many times I have thought I couldn't cope any longer, but the joy when my son achieves another milestone is so overwhelming I cannot even find words enough to describe it.
I dislike the disabilities, there is only one thing I would wish to be different, but I love my family and they are part of who I am.
Totally negative, has the person who wrote it ever been a carer Image ?
Maybe they wrote it on a bad day? If somebody had come to me 18 years ago and told me that at least 17 years would be spent with the love of my life, but he'd be ill and quite disabled for all of that time, I don't know what I would've done. On the whole, it's been bearable.

Interesting that, yet again, the writer assumes that the caree is elderly.

Also interesting that incontinence and medication are mentioned - these may be needed by some carees, but certainly not by all.

I suppose it's a bit like Tolstoy's comment (in "Anna Karenina") that all happy families are alike in their happiness, but no two unhappy families share the same kind of misery. Image
It is like something which I read once in a parish church magazine extolling the virtues, patience, etc. of the disabled, they obviously had never met me! Image Image Image