Don't know how much longer i can stay :(
Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:15 pm
Hi
I just needed somewhere to write and get all my feelings out. Im sorry if its a bit of an essay but i cant keep this bottled up anymore.
Ive been with my partner for 7 years. He has had mental health problems from the start. He has got worse and worse as ive been with him.
Im really struggling lately with the relationship. We have a 9 month old baby and i have an 8 year old son from previous relationship.
I know my partner is ill but i cant help feeling that he is not making the effort to try and help himself. He did not help at all while i was pregnant (with anything) which he says he feels guilty about everyday and im not allowed to bring it up. We have been living seperately for 7 months now as we were not getting along well living together. He never attempts to come and see us so i have to drag the whole family to see him. He leaves his house a complete mess so after travelling there i have to clean up and air all the smoke out of the room before the kids can play. He stresses at me constantly about every little thing. He doesnt pay much attention to our son except to make him jump
or moan about him (which i have told him isnt acceptable but he gets angry with me) . He is extremely selfish. Because he is ill he thinks his feelings should be the main priority (basically as long as he doesnt feel too bad thats what matters, even if we suffer at the expense). He is constantly telling me i neglect him and dont pay him enough attention, he cant seem to understand that after looking after 2 children and doing my house work then travelling up to his and cleaning his house and still looking after the kids why i would be a little too tired to want to lavish him in attention. Everything i do is wrong and everything i say is wrong or offensive or hurtfull. I cant seem to do anything right. He thinks its acceptable to talk to other women online about sexual things (even an ex) and even talk about meeting up for you know what and if i am upset about it im stupid and he is upset with me that i think he would do it
.
These are a few examples of my struggles with him and i just dont know how much more i can take. I feel like i dont love him as a partner anymore, more as a family member. We arent intimate anymore, i dont even feel like going and seeing him most of the time as all he does is argue and have a go at me. Im just scared as we have been together so long and hes always says i am his rock and he would kill himself if i left him, and also im scared that he will demand to have our son on his own and i honestly dont trust him enough as he cant even look after himself and he doesnt seem to pay much attention to what baby is doing and also he doesnt get out of bed when he wakes up he just grunts and moans and goes back to sleep or shouts.
I just dont know what to do anymore and the situation is making me more and more down. I just want to cry all day and i have no one to talk to
Im sorry for such a long message and thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read it x
I just needed somewhere to write and get all my feelings out. Im sorry if its a bit of an essay but i cant keep this bottled up anymore.
Ive been with my partner for 7 years. He has had mental health problems from the start. He has got worse and worse as ive been with him.
Im really struggling lately with the relationship. We have a 9 month old baby and i have an 8 year old son from previous relationship.
I know my partner is ill but i cant help feeling that he is not making the effort to try and help himself. He did not help at all while i was pregnant (with anything) which he says he feels guilty about everyday and im not allowed to bring it up. We have been living seperately for 7 months now as we were not getting along well living together. He never attempts to come and see us so i have to drag the whole family to see him. He leaves his house a complete mess so after travelling there i have to clean up and air all the smoke out of the room before the kids can play. He stresses at me constantly about every little thing. He doesnt pay much attention to our son except to make him jump


These are a few examples of my struggles with him and i just dont know how much more i can take. I feel like i dont love him as a partner anymore, more as a family member. We arent intimate anymore, i dont even feel like going and seeing him most of the time as all he does is argue and have a go at me. Im just scared as we have been together so long and hes always says i am his rock and he would kill himself if i left him, and also im scared that he will demand to have our son on his own and i honestly dont trust him enough as he cant even look after himself and he doesnt seem to pay much attention to what baby is doing and also he doesnt get out of bed when he wakes up he just grunts and moans and goes back to sleep or shouts.
I just dont know what to do anymore and the situation is making me more and more down. I just want to cry all day and i have no one to talk to

Im sorry for such a long message and thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read it x