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does it change you?. - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

does it change you?.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hey Excalibur!! I am smiling at the thought of 'the people we have yet to love' being deserving! It seems to leave rather a lot of scope for walking away from anything difficult in the here and now. You have cheered my morning!
Hey Excalibur!! I am smiling at the thought of 'the people we have yet to love' being deserving! It seems to leave rather a lot of scope for walking away from anything difficult in the here and now. You have cheered my morning!
Thanks! - I was actually thinking of a close friend of mine who lost his wife following her death by cancer a couple of years ago - he has since, on a walking holiday, met a new partner and they are like teenage kids in love - thats a wonderful result. The great thing is that he allowed the possibility of new love by not closing his own heart down in grief and bitterness, which would be so easy to do.
And all power to them both!
Before I became a carer I had quite a good job with a fair amount of responsibility for others as well as being a lone parent (no medals I know-many do the same). Now I think I'm a push over who walks on egg shells as not to offend members of the family who help out with my mother since I can't do that much since my daughter's accident. I worry about what I say in case things are misunderstood - there were family fictions in the past which took ages to patch up and I don't have the mental strength to deal with that now. I try to stay under the radar- it's all I can manage at the present. I feel in the thick of it, yet removed from normal life if that makes sense (I know it sounds like a lot of old b...s).
Image i was told today that,in feb 2011,im being made redundant.ive mused on this on another thread.but,i feel so dam calm,peacefull about it,i seem to just be so chilled.i feel being a carer helps.i feel its changed me in so far as such things only take their place.ive realised what really counts in life.my caree.so,frankly,i dont feel the least bit crushed.strange sensation of peace.

i think im just more balanced these days,perhaps.im just calm.
Whew - just read through the posts - its so nice to hear everyone's views. Has it changed me - d' you know I hadn't given it much thought before today - too busy getting on with it. I think for me caring has shown me a side of myself that was always there. I experience a spectrum of emotions as I cope with the good and bad my life presents me with in this role - don't know if I would experience these extremes if I wasn't a carer. However I am also aware that when I became a mum some 16 years ago I was launched into the world of caring for this little person. There was lots of help there in the first stages and gradually I found my feet and started off on the road that made me the mum I am today. Sadly when I became a carer I did not experience that same level of help (either professionally or from family) as a result it is harder to get to the place where I feel confident in my skills and, unlike feeling "hey I'm a mum I can do this" as as carer I feel I am constantly striving to get to a place where I can honestly say "hey I can do this". But do it I am and it draws out of me many of the skills I've learnt through caring for my son - maybe being a carer hasn't changed me as such its just brought me to draw on the bits of me that I need to strive to cope as a carer.
i feel my story is one in flux,in progress,still being written,evolving.
my role as carer has changed me,is changing me,will change me,its a voyage of discovery.still happening.same for us all.our songs are far from played-out.
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Being calm is good. I've been made redundant at least five times, and each time I ended up with a whole load of new furniture off the lump sum, a few weeks holiday, a new job, and a salary raise ... so bring it on. Except the last time I got made redundant aged 52 I went all the way to an Industrial Tribunal, which lasted all of 10 minutes, and .. well lets just say that whilst I don't live in millionaire row and still have a mortgage to pay off, I don't have to ever again worry about the grocery bill.
Excalibur,this is not the first time your wisdom,your insight,just your way with the words you use has been so much help,so much good to me.
i thankyou my freind.