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does it annoy you when....... - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

does it annoy you when.......

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I gave up a career as a nurse when my partners Parkinsons got worse because I got no support. Right now I should be on £24k/yr. .
So Dipsy, I'm genuinely curious, not in the least critical. But I mean, many people would just pass on the heavy load to the State, rather than work crazy hours as an unpaid carer. So why exactly do you do it? (Love isn't the answer, by the way, it is too easy an excuse for self-flagellation in my lexicon, though it can be cited in mitigation) .

I went (with my piglet in tow) to the premiere of a Scottish National Theatre production tonight, called Callum's Road. Its a true story about a stubborn - maybe crazy - crofter who decides to build a road across his remote and rapidly depopulating Scottish island to his village because the government wont do it, with his own bare hands. It takes him 20 years of incredibly hard graft, and meanwhile the population shrinks so that at the end, he is the only person left in the village, the rest have all abandoned ship. I suppose it asks the tough question, "How much of a legend do you really want to be for your principles"?
The choice was simple. I could continue on a rotating shift pattern doing my 37.5hrs/wk 7-3 2-10 9-8 and I had weeks of early late early night then come home and basically do it all again unpaid. Mark at that point was more capable but was detriorating, he had chronic insomnia meds would stop kicking in and he'd need me because either his tremor would kill his balance and have him on the floor or the stiffness would have him like a shop mannequin. I didn't want to leave him on his own because he's injured himself quite badly a couple of times. The shift pattern was knackering enough but I knew what was coming, I've worked with Parkinsons. Its a bitch. Love is the reason I didn't leave him. I loved my job too and I tried getting the social in but after a five minute assessment (while Marks meds were working) they decided we didn't need them and that I earned enough to get and pay for help myself and we had too many savings (our fault for trying to save to buy a house). I've also looked at getting back into nursing because right now we'd get pass the assessment process there are no jobs. Catch 22. I got out because with shifts and looking after Mark I never got any sleep and can't get back in because they aren't hiring.
Hi there
If you really wanted to stay in work, surely you could have applied for flexible working? I worked full shifts and when hubby and Mum got worse, I applied for this and now work only 34 hrs. As a carer, they couldnt really refuse me.
I would hate to give up my job, and do need the money, as without it, we wouldnt be able to have Mum living with us as we have a bigger mortgage.

I will try my best to stay in work but if hubby/Mum end up needing round the clock care then I would have to give it too.