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Does anyone esle feel like this? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Does anyone esle feel like this?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Monica - so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Sounds to me like you've done the right thing in booking a GP appointment and let's hope they come up with something positive.

I think a lot of us feel like you do. I feel absolutely drained sometimes and have done for years. I have a daughter with learning disabilities who needs a lot of support and I am her mother/carer/friend/driver/personal assistant Image and many other things. She is in her late 20s so it's been like this for years and years. It's weird but the way I feel seems to go in waves. I cope quite well for a few weeks and then I feel like you describe for a few weeks. There's never a happy medium. Image

I guess the answer is getting outside help but we get no help whatsoever from anyone and the older we're both getting, the harder it is. For me anyway, I know it's going to be the same for years and years to come and then I worry about what happens when we're not here.

Anyway Monica, let us know how your appointment goes.
Hi Monica

tired ? ive forgotten what NOT being tired feels like.
I feel drained most days and that is odd as i am Manic Depressive and usually run on overtime without stopping to pause for breath.

It doesnt say how old you are and a trip to the doctors is a good idea. He may check you are not anaemic or that your thyroid is working properly. These two ailments can cause fatigue and creep up on you.

Carers are supposed to care for themselves too - how many of us do that properly, i know i dont and im a retired nurse who should know better Image

Take Care - Mandy

I am 43, trust me my bloods will be fine, but I have had the worst 2 days of hell at work. I am getting to know a couple of new team members and they find me abit full on, instead of coming to me they go to another team member who, I don't really have much to do with and the next thing I know I am getting pulled into the office and told off basically, I said sorry to everyone and this memebr of staff says she can't cope with ppl who are up and down, hello we can't all be happy go lucky. I am so distressed that I don't want to go to work and the past 2 days not slept due to feeling even more stressed.

Sorry for moaning but I am fed up, I am human you can come over and say are you ok, I thought you were a bit abrupt or sharpe. oh well may be time to look for a new job......so sad Image I love my job!!!
Hi Monica
I can sympathise with you. Office politics is one of the few things I don't miss about work.
When a new girl started in my last job she said to me 'I was really scared about working with you' when I asked why she told me I had a reputation amoungst the branch staff of being a right b***h.
Now shes a really good friend Image
You are definitely not alone, the forum works and supports us all by telling our tales of woe and of of fun etc. What sort of "Team" do you work in ?

I -like booksey and others have had the same problem. I used to scare my student nurses and junior staff - but only because i had a high powered job with a responsibility to 30 patients and 28 staff.
i used to give them a week or two to settle in and allow my "Team" to show them where everything was. My TEAM i miss so much but we are good friends with mutual respect these days.
After that i took them and showed them how patients should be looked after from the toes to the hair follicles on their head. I had no time for people not interested and because of pressure i appeared brusque to thers but never my patients. families perhaps as i was human and could never offer them everything they wanted because of Admin and their money belts pulled tight .
My old Matron used to say i was like a thinner version of Hattie Jacques in Carry on Matron and that was how it was because so was SHE Image Image Image . I didnt go to work to be popular i went to ensure i made patients lives more comfortable. Do you think you do your job well ? if you do then dont kick yourself, its their problem if they cannot approach you. You dont have to do all the running.
Most students went away saying how great i was and the next lot would come and be afraid because of their terror at needing to learn so much.
Im no ogre i was paid to do a job( loved it)............"Old School"
Dont take it to heart, they dont know your life is hard unless they are in the same position........only then would they feel any empathy.
Take care and hope you have a better day - Mandy (((hugs)))
Hi Mandy

Thank you for your reply, I am a Teaching Assistant and I work with children who have special needs. I love my job and I have been told more than once that I am very good at it.
This person has been in the job for 4 years me three but never worked together. I find her over powering and loud, I can't cope twith the fact she can't deal with the child she has and always gets involved with children who are with other TA's. I am not alone, but I thought i'd give her a couple of weeks and then sit with her and explain how I feel, but not she went straight to the deputy head.

I spoke with deputy head last night and explained a few points this other TA failed to mention, there was talk of me being floating TA and work with children on a one to one, after being ganged up on at team meeting and watching the ta with another ta gossiping I have emailed the deputy head asked if I can float, I now in my heart of hearts if I don't get out soon, there will be a warning on the way. As the other ta she was talking with me does not like me.
The deputy head said I am good at my job and may be better floating and working with children on a one to one.

Other team members will be upset but I have to think of me and my family. I have a load of support with in school, but I can't not sleep and have anything else to worry about, the stress at home is enough.

Thanks for replying
Monica Image
Hi Monica,
You do not need any negativity or extra stress in your life. think, and say to them,
"when you walk in my shoes, for a day, then you can judge me".
Take care
A TA with Special Needs Children is a very special person. If i was put in a ward full of children i would be totally out of my depth and have nothing in common with their needs.
Everyone has a niche to find in any role or job and you sound as if the Deputy Head has a decent way of working. Not only support for you and a little praise but offering suggestions of how you could find your feet in a different direction to group working.

Gossip is something any good manager should be able to resolve before it causes serious problems. It is also counter productive, destroys trust and reduces others to rubble. Whilst it may be fun for those who gossip its not fun for those on the receiving end.

Try this "1 to 1" and floating job role you may find you like it. We are not ALL team workers, not all of us want to be olympic gold medal relay winners ,some want to win the 200m gold all by themselves.
As for a warning - Who from ? Why would you be warned ? For being a person in need of a different style of work , offered by the Deputy Head, i think not.
As for "other team members being upset" - TOUGH ,get over it, get a life..........

Booksey also is right "dont take it to heart"
and if someone called me a right bi**h id say a great big thank you as all it means is your a" soft furry cuddly female dog" who loves unconditionally apart from a few tickles and treats, even the rottweilers........its just a word. Image

hope today gives you a little positivity to give them two fingers ------ Mandy
Monica, I worked as a TA special needs for many years and while it's very enjoyable it's also very stressful and it only needs back biting on top of the job and your home circumstances to prove too stressful.
A floater sounds ideal as you will keep your friends and not have to be constantly rubbing up against someone whose personality you find abrasive Image
Hi all

Well Dr's put me back on anti depressants, got to go back in 2 weeks. As for work, it's just come to me that I got pulled into the office and yet I never got asked to give my side of the story and neither was any of the other TA's who were there. But I got told I need to change ????????

There have been other times I have been in the office and again never given the chance to give my side, seeking advice from union. I don't need this stress.

Tiredness and aching and feeling pain is all signs of my body feeling low, rest and see if meds work.

Just a quick up date xxx